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Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Henry is still stuck in that wine cellar, pounding on the door, calling "Olga! Are you out there? What's going on? Olga!" Finally, after Henry has given up, Olga comes into the wine cellar. "Well, it's about time! I have been down here without food or water all night. It is not like you to leave me alone for so long, especially after..." Olga motions Henry to shut up, and BJ walks in behind her. "Well, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you down here to Henry's happy hole?" says Henry. "I've come to say good-bye," smirks BJ. "You're leaving?" asks Henry. "No, you are," replies BJ. "As in, you're letting me go?" asks Henry. "As in, I'm setting you free," says BJ. "What's the difference?" wonders Henry. "Well, there's one of cosmic proportion," says BJ. "I'm not following you. I think this damp dark dungeon has dulled my senses," says Henry. "Well, not to worry. I'm pretty sure you won't be needing senses where you're going," smiles BJ. "Honey, you want to tell me what he's talking about here, buttercup?" Henry asks Olga. "You're history, Henry. Tomorrow's obituary. Got the picture?" answers BJ.
"Tomorrow's obituary. That is funny, B.J. You have a hell of a sense of humor, you know that? What are you saying? You gonna kill me? We've been down this street before," says Henry impatiently. "Yes, we have. And I'm still kicking myself for not getting rid of you the first time," says BJ. "You're not a killer, B.J. You're not. You don't have it in you," says Henry. "Probably not. That's why I'm having Olga take care of it," says BJ. "What? Olga, no," says Henry. "Olga, yes. Sorry, Henry. Business is business," says Olga. "And to think I promised you a rose garden," sighs Henry. "Oh. I'm going to be late for my last date with Katie," says BJ, looking at his watch. "What do you mean, last?" asks Henry. "Henry, don't look so glum. The two of you might meet up in the afterlife," smiles BJ. "Oh, man. If you touch one hair on her head, I swear to you, B.J., I'll...." threatens Henry, moving towards BJ as Olga holds him back. "You'll what? What? I'm really curious, what will you do? You come back and haunt me? Your ghost will have to find me first," taunts BJ. "Well, somebody will find you, you know that? They may not miss me after I'm gone, but they will miss Katie. And they will hunt you down, B.J. -- Mike, and Jack, and Tom and Margo, and every police officer, every agent from here to Tuscaloosa," promises Henry. "Well, then, I'll be sure to avoid Tuscaloosa. Adios amigo," says BJ, leaving the cellar. Now that they're alone, Henry says to Olga, "Hey, it's just a bluff, right? You're not going to kill me just because he ordered you to. Are you?" "Sorry, Henry. I will give as little pain as possible," says Olga, holding up a pair of handcuffs.
"Olga, Olga, honey, we've been through heaven and hell together. You can't just let it end like this," pleads Henry. "I am not happy. But orders are orders," says Olga. "Oh, come on, would you stop it? You sound like a World War II movie," says Henry. "Oh, Henry. Is sad day for me, too. Now, be a good boy and put out hands so we can finish this," says Olga. "Now, that's just the point. See, I don't want to finish this. Why do you have to handcuff me, anyway?" asks Henry. "Olga is not doing job here in wine cellar. It's too messy," says Olga. "How about Olga not doing the job at all, huh? How about that? Don't you remember our recent night of passion?" Henry reminds her. "It was night of ecstasy," agrees Olga. "Then how can you plan to kill me? Actually, how exactly are you planning to kill me?" asks Henry. "Is surprise," replies Olga. "Oh, I hate surprises. Over there, over there, over there. Listen, I know, I realize that I cannot talk you out of this thing, but don't you think that I at least deserve a last request?" asks Henry. "You are wanting a cigarette or a nice beef goulash, maybe?" suggests Olga. "No, Olga, no, no. I want ecstasy. Like we had the other night. You can have your way with me. Right here, right now. And then you can drag me off and you can kill me, because fair is fair," offers Henry. "Oh, Henry. I don't think so," says Olga. "Why not? You're about to send me off into the jaws of hell. Please, please let my last memory on earth be of pleasing you. Please? One last time?" asks Henry.
Olga takes Henry up on his offer, and as they fall to the floor Henry manages to grab the handcuffs. "Oh, Henry!" cries Olga. "Hold on. Don't speak, don't speak. Just follow my lead," says Henry, putting the handcuffs on her. "Ooh! Oh! Henry is getting kinky, yeah!" says Olga. "Yeah. Yeah. Actually, you know, Henry's getting out of here!" says Henry, handcuffing her to the wine rack and heading for the door. "What? You trick me! You sneak!" cries Olga. "Sneak? You were gonna make love to me and then kill me! Ha!" Henry points out. "You cannot leave. There are guards. They will shoot you on sight," says Olga. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. They won't shoot you, though, will they?" says Henry. "You are taking me as hostage?" asks Olga. "Not exactly," sighs Henry, knowing what he must do.
"You will not get away with this!" says a naked Olga from behind a barrel. Henry, who is now dressed in her leopard print coat, scarf, and high-heeled shoes, replies, "You wanna bet, there, Olga? Damnit! How do you walk in these things?" "Don't leave me here, Henry! Rats. Long tail. Teeth. Olga is afraid," says Olga. "Oh, don't be afraid. Just charm them, Olga, like you did me. I'm sure you'll have them eating out of your hands in no time," says Henry. "Please, Henry!" begs Olga, now that the shoe is on the other foot. "I'm sorry. I've got to go see Katie. But don't worry, the cops will be here soon, and hopefully they'll take it easy on you. Cheer up. We'll always have Paris," says Henry. "Henry! Henry!" cries Olga as Henry strips up the stairs.
Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by Josh Griffith.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: Olga! Are you out there? What's going on? Olga! [ Henry gasps ]
Henry: Well, it's about time! I have been down here without food or water all night. It is not like you to leave me alone for so long, especially after -- B.J. Well, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you down here to Henry's happy hole? B.J.: I've come to say good-bye. Henry: You're leaving? B.J.: No, you are. Henry: As in, you're letting me go? B.J.: As in, I'm setting you free. Henry: What's the difference? B.J.: Well, there's one of cosmic proportion. Henry: I'm not following you. I think this damp dark dungeon has dulled my senses. B.J.: Well, not to worry. I'm pretty sure you won't be needing senses where you're going. [ Henry sighs ] Henry: Honey, you want to tell me what he's talking about here, buttercup? B.J.: You're history, Henry. Tomorrow's obituary. Got the picture?
Henry: Tomorrow's obituary. That is funny, B.J. You have a hell of a sense of humor, you know that? What are you saying? You gonna kill me? We've been down this street before. B.J.: Yes, we have. And I'm still kicking myself for not getting rid of you the first time. Henry: You're not a killer, B.J. You're not. You don't have it in you. B.J.: Probably not. That's why I'm having Olga take care of it. Henry: What? Olga, no. Olga: Olga, yes. Sorry, Henry. Business is business. Henry: And to think I promised you a rose garden. B.J.: Oh. I'm going to be late for my last date with Katie. Henry: What do you mean, last? B.J.: Henry, don't look so glum. The two of you might meet up in the afterlife. Henry: Oh, man. If you touch one hair on her head, I swear to you, B.J., I'll -- B.J.: You'll what? What? I'm really curious, what will you do? You come back and haunt me? Your ghost will have to find me first. Henry: Well, somebody will find you, you know that? They may not miss me after I'm gone, but they will miss Katie. And they will hunt you down, B.J. -- Mike, and Jack, and Tom and Margo, and every police officer, every agent from here to Tuscaloosa. B.J.: Well, then, I'll be sure to avoid Tuscaloosa. Adios amigo. Henry: Hey, it's just a bluff, right? You're not going to kill me just because he ordered you to. Are you? Olga: Sorry, Henry. I will give as little pain as possible.
Henry: Olga, Olga, honey, we've been through heaven and hell together. You can't just let it end like this. Olga: I am not happy. But orders are orders. Henry: Oh, come on, would you stop it? You sound like a World War II movie. Olga: Oh, Henry. Is sad day for me, too. Now, be a good boy and put out hands so we can finish this. Henry: Now, that's just the point. See, I don't want to finish this. Why do you have to handcuff me, anyway? Olga: Olga is not doing job here in wine cellar. It's too messy. Henry: How about Olga not doing the job at all, huh? How about that? Don't you remember our recent night of passion? Olga: It was night of ecstasy. Henry: Then how can you plan to kill me? Actually, how exactly are you planning to kill me? Olga: Is surprise. Henry: Oh, I hate surprises. Over there, over there, over there. Listen, I know, I realize that i cannot talk you out of this thing, but don't you think that I at least deserve a last request? Olga: You are wanting a cigarette or a nice beef goulash, maybe? Henry: No, Olga, no, no. I want ecstasy. Like we had the other night. You can have your way with me. Right here, right now. And then you can drag me off and you can kill me, because fair is fair. Olga: Oh, Henry. I don't think so. Henry: Why not? You're about to send me off into the jaws of hell. Please, please let my last memory on earth be of pleasing you. Please? One last time?
Olga: Oh, Henry! Henry: Hold on. Don't speak, don't speak. Just follow my lead. Olga: Ooh! Oh! Henry is getting kinky, yeah! Henry: Yeah. Yeah. Actually, you know, Henry's getting out of here! Olga: What? You trick me! You sneak! Henry: Sneak? You were gonna make love to me and then kill me! Ha! Olga: You cannot leave. There are guards. They will shoot you on sight. Henry: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They won't shoot you, though, will they? Olga: You are taking me as hostage? Henry: Not exactly.
Olga: You will not get away with this! Henry: You wanna bet, there, Olga? Damnit! How do you walk in these things? Olga: Don't leave me here, Henry! Rats. Long tail. Teeth. Olga is afraid. Henry: Oh, don't be afraid. Just charm them, Olga, like you did me. I'm sure you'll have them eating out of your hands in no time. Olga: Please, Henry! Henry: I'm sorry. I've got to go see Katie. But don't worry, the cops will be here soon, and hopefully they'll take it easy on you. Cheer up. We'll always have Paris. Olga: Henry! Henry!
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