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Wednesday, November 9, 2005
Henry is sitting at the counter at Java when Jack comes up behind him. "Hey, Coleman. How you doing?" says Jack, putting his hand on Henry's shoulder. Henry jumps, then sees it's Jack. "Hey! Hey, Jack!" "Whoa, take it easy. It's just me," says Jack. "You snuck up on me there," says Henry. "Yeah. What's got you all panicky?" asks Jack. "Oh. I'm not panicky. No, I'm cool as -- cool as November there. Yeah, I'm fine. Listen, can I have a double mocha latte with a shot of espresso and some cayenne pepper, please?" he asks the person behind the counter. "You sure you don't want to make that a decaf?" suggests Jack, ordering a regular coffee. "So, how are you doing, Henry?" "I'm great. I'm doing good. I'm fine," answers Henry, "Why?" "It's just an innocent question," says Jack. "I'm sorry, Jack. I'm a little edgy. I haven't been sleeping well," explains Henry. "Oh, bad dreams?" asks Jack. "No, no. I don't have time for dreams, actually. My job is pretty much 24/7. But I -- I -- I'm not complaining. The pay is amazing," says Henry. "Yes, I see. So, would that mean that you wouldn't have time for extra work?" asks Jack. "Uh, extra work? What do you mean extra -- like law enforcement kind of work?" asks Henry, intrigued. "Not -- not exactly," says Jack evasively. "When you say 'not exactly,' what do you mean exactly?" asks Henry. "It's a little more covert than your straight-up police work," replies Jack. "FBI?" asks Henry. "Let's just say that I would be doing a friend of mine a lot of help in Washington. So would you," says Jack. "Well, if you're talking about some James Bond sort of thing, I am totally listening," grins Henry. "I need you to get some information about your boss, B.J. Green," says Henry.
"All you have to do is find out information about his daily routine. That's it. Who he meets with, who he talks to, where he travels to, organizations that he has regular contact with. That kind of stuff," explains Jack. "In other words, you want me to spy on my boss," translates Henry. "That's a problem for you?" asks Jack. "Well, golly, Jack, a little bit. You know, he's the guy that signs my paychecks," says Henry. "Oh, come on, Henry. Tell me you haven't felt a little suspicious of the guy ever since you started working for him. Tell me you haven't wondered if he was on the up and up. Now's your chance to find out, once and for all," offers Jack.
"Jack, I'll admit, B.J. Is a little eccentric, but so was Howard Hughes," says Henry as they sit down at a table with their coffees. "Yeah. Look how that worked out for him," says Jack. "Right, bad example," agrees Henry. "Stop covering for the guy, Henry, just because he's your boss. You and I both know he's trouble," says Jack. "You know, I'm a little murky on the definition of trouble, per se," says Henry. "Trouble is what Katie got into at B.J.'S Halloween party," says Jack. "You know about that?" asks Henry. "Give me some credit, please," sighs Jack. "That was -- that was a bad, bad mistake. And B.J. feels terrible about it," says Henry. "Well, it sounds to me like he would have raped her," says Jack. "No, no. Come -- he wouldn't have done something like that. He was -- he was -- taking a trip down memory lane. He wanted to talk about high school," says Henry. "How long are you going to keep lying to yourself about what this guy is capable of, Henry?" asks Jack. "Until he fires me. And then he's fair game," answers Henry. "Even you're not that greedy," says Jack. "Oh, really? Why don't you drive a limo for a few weeks and then you come back and talk to me, okay?" suggests Henry. "Do you want to give this guy another chance to hurt Katie?" asks Jack. "He wouldn't do that!" insists Henry. "How do you know that? How do you know? We can kill two birds with one stone. The feds get the info that they want and you get to protect Katie. Do it for her. Do it for Katie," says Jack, and Henry looks tempted.
"You know, I don't feel a thing. You think I should order another one of these?" asks Henry, draining his cup. "I think you should stop stalling and give me an answer," advises Jack. "Jack, look -- you really -- you really put me on the spot here, okay? This job with B.J. Is the best I've ever had in my life. And yes, Halloween was weird. I don't think that he's a danger to Katie. And if he is -- if he is, I'm working with him, so I can keep an eye on things. Without losing my meal ticket because he thinks I'm spying on him for the FBI. Especially since, it sounds to me, that the only thing you have to pin on this guy is that he didn't make a couple of tax returns. Now, come on, we've all been creative with our taxes once or twice, right?" says Henry. "I take it you're turning me down," says Jack. "Yeah. Thanks, Jack. But, no thanks," responds Henry. "Nothing I can do to change your mind, Henry?" asks Jack. "Look, he's a strange guy, I'll give you that. But he's basically okay. I mean, come on, he's not a serial killer or anything, right?" asks Henry, but Jack doesn't answer. Henry walks into WOAK and asks, "Hey, where is everybody?" "B.J. gave everybody the day off. Guess that didn't include you," answers Mike. "Yeah, well, he's useless without me," says Henry. "Yeah, he needs you for everything. Even his dirty work," says Mike. "Now Mike, that's unfair," says Henry. "Unfair? How can you live with yourself, Henry? After what B.J. tried to do to Katie, you're still working for him?" says Mike. "So are you," observes Henry. "Because I'm trying to make sure Katie stays safe," explains Mike. "How do you know I'm not doing the same thing, Mike?" asks Henry. "You're out for the paycheck. That's all that matters to you. I'm glad my eyes are finally open to you," says Mike. He walks away and Henry goes into the office. As he's looking around he remembers Jack's offer. He hears BJ coming and hides under the desk. "We can talk in here," says BJ, leading a strange man into the office. "What exactly is it you need me to do?" asks the man. "Take care of a little problem for me," says BJ. "My specialty. What's your problem?" he asks. "A troublesome associate I need you to dispose of. Immediately," says BJ. Today’s episode was directed by Maria Wagner and written by Josh Griffith.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Jack: Hey, Coleman. How you doing? Henry: Hey! Hey, Jack! Jack: Whoa, take it easy. It's just me. Henry: You snuck up on me there. Jack: Yeah. What's got you all panicky? Henry: Oh. I'm not panicky. No, I'm cool as -- cool as November there. Yeah, I'm fine. Listen, can I have a double mocha latte with a shot of espresso and some cayenne pepper, please? Jack: You sure you don't want to make that a decaf? [ Henry laughs ] Can I have a regular coffee? So, how are you doing, Henry? Henry: I'm great. I'm doing good. I'm fine. Jack: Good. Henry: Why? Jack: It's just an innocent question. Henry: I'm sorry, Jack. I'm a little edgy. I haven't been sleeping well. Jack: Oh, bad dreams? Henry: No, no. I don't have time for dreams, actually. My job is pretty much 24/7. But I -- I -- I'm not complaining. The pay is amazing. Jack: Yes, I see. So, would that mean that you wouldn't have time for extra work? Henry: Uh, extra work? What do you mean extra -- like law enforcement kind of work? Jack: Not -- not exactly. Henry: When you say "not exactly," what do you mean exactly? Jack: It's a little more covert than your straight-up police work. Henry: FBI? Jack: Let's just say that I would be doing a friend of mine a lot of help in Washington. So would you. Henry: Well, if you're talking about some James Bond sort of thing, I am totally listening. Jack: I need you to get some information about your boss, B.J. Green.
Jack: All you have to do is find out information about his daily routine. That's it. Who he meets with, who he talks to, where he travels to, organizations that he has regular contact with. That kind of stuff. Henry: In other words, you want me to spy on my boss. Jack: That's a problem for you? Henry: Well, golly, Jack, a little bit. You know, he's the guy that signs my paychecks. Jack: Oh, come on, Henry. Tell me you haven't felt a little suspicious of the guy ever since you started working for him. Henry: Well -- Jack: Tell me you haven't wondered if he was on the up and up. Now's your chance to find out, once and for all.
Henry: Jack, I'll admit, B.J. Is a little eccentric, but so was Howard Hughes. Jack: Yeah. Look how that worked out for him. Henry: Right, bad example. Jack: Stop covering for the guy, Henry, just because he's your boss. You and I both know he's trouble. Henry: You know, I'm a little murky on the definition of trouble, per se. Jack: Trouble is what Katie got into at B.J.'S Halloween party. Henry: You know about that? Jack: Give me some credit, please. Henry: That was -- that was a bad, bad mistake. And B.J. Feels terrible about it. Jack: Well, it sounds to me like he would have raped her. Henry: No, no. Come -- he wouldn't have done something like that. He was -- he was -- taking a trip down memory lane. He wanted to talk about high school -- Jack: How long are you going to keep lying to yourself about what this guy is capable of, Henry? Henry: Until he fires me. And then he's fair game. Jack: Even you're not that greedy. Henry: Oh, really? Why don't you drive a limo for a few weeks and then you come back and talk to me, okay? Jack: Do you want to give this guy another chance to hurt Katie? Henry: He wouldn't do that! Jack: How do you know that? How do you know? We can kill two birds with one stone. The feds get the info that they want and you get to protect Katie. Do it for her. Do it for Katie.
Henry: You know, I don't feel a thing. You think I should order another one of these? Jack: I think you should stop stalling and give me an answer. Henry: Jack, look -- you really -- you really put me on the spot here, okay? This job with B.J. Is the best I've ever had in my life. And yes, Halloween was weird. I don't think that he's a danger to Katie. And if he is -- if he is, I'm working with him, so I can keep an eye on things. Without losing my meal ticket because he thinks I'm spying on him for the FBI. Especially since, it sounds to me, that the only thing you have to pin on this guy is that he didn't make a couple of tax returns. Now, come on, we've all been creative with our taxes once or twice, right? Jack: I take it you're turning me down. Henry: Yeah. Thanks, Jack. But, no thanks. Jack: Nothing I can do to change your mind, Henry? Henry: Look, he's a strange guy, I'll give you that. But he's basically okay. I mean, come on, he's not a serial killer or anything, right?
Henry: Hey, where is everybody? Mike: B.J. Gave everybody the day off. Guess that didn't include you. Henry: Yeah, well, he's useless without me. Mike: Yeah, he needs you for everything. Even his dirty work. Henry: Now Mike, that's unfair. Mike: Unfair? How can you live with yourself, Henry? After what B.J. Tried to do to Katie, you're still working for him? Henry: So are you. Mike: Because I'm trying to make sure Katie stays safe. Henry: How do you know I'm not doing the same thing, Mike? Mike: You're out for the paycheck. That's all that matters to you. I'm glad my eyes are finally open to you. [ Henry remembering ] Jack: We can kill two birds with one stone. The feds get the info that they want, and you get to protect Katie. Do it for her. Do it for Katie. B.J.: We can talk in here. Creepy guy: What exactly is it you need me to do? B.J.: Take care of a little problem for me. Creepy guy: My specialty. What's your problem? B.J.: A troublesome associate I need you to dispose of. Immediately.
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