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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 BJ and Henry are at Java and BJ asks, "So I need to know. Can I count on you to get Mike out of the way?" "When you say out of the way, how far out of the way are we talking about?" asks Henry reluctantly. "Does it matter? You signed on to be my executive assistant," says BJ. "Yeah, that was before I knew what or who I'd be executing," says Henry. BJ starts laughing and almost chokes on his chocolate milk. "You okay there?" asks Henry. "You -- you're a funny guy. You know, I am not a mob boss who's asking you to rub someone out. It's nothing like that," says BJ. "I know that. I know. I know about that. I'd just -- I'd like to go over the finer points of how we're getting Mike out of the way," says Henry. "I don't know. I just want some alone time with Katie, you know? Since I've been here, I haven't really had any good one-on-one time with her," says BJ. "What do you want to talk about?" asks Henry. "Just old times, high school," replies BJ. "She doesn't remember you from high school? Not that changing your name or the way you look or not telling her exactly who you are has anything to do with that," says Henry sarcastically. "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Okay? Maybe I can remedy that though. You know, I've been thinking, right? Since she's helping me throw this back in the day party for Halloween that maybe if I had some time to talk to her -- I mean, really, really talk to her, then maybe -- maybe she would remember me from the old days," says BJ hopefully. "Okay, I would be the one to facilitate this, why?" asks Henry. "Because you're my right hand man, man. Because I count on you. Because I've already proven that I can really sweeten the deal, friend. So what do you say?" asks BJ.
Apparently Henry agreed, because the next time we see him he's pounding on Katie's door. Mike yells for him to go away, but the doorbell rings again. "Ah, the persistent type. All right, I'm going to go get dressed. So you answer the door, and I'm going to sneak upstairs really quietly," says Katie, doing just that. When she's safely upstairs Mike answers the door and Henry barges in. "Mike, you got to help me. You got to help me," he says, panicky. "What's going on?" asks Mike. "I'm in trouble, man! I'm in trouble with a capital T. If you don't help me, my life's coming to a screeching halt," says Henry dramatically. "Slow down. What kind of trouble?" asks Mike. "I'm such an idiot! I'm an idiot! I just -- I had to take B.J.'S car for a spin," says Henry. "So what's the big deal?" asks Mike. "He doesn't know about it!" cries Henry. "So put it back where you found it," says Mike. Henry says he can't do that, "Because I hadn't even made it to the interstate, and then she started to buck and heave. And then she started coughing up smoke, and then this green liquid bile stuff started coming out of the -- I can't think about it, Mike! It's just too awful!" Mike asks him where it is. "Somewhere, man. Somewhere. It's out in Juniper I think. It's -- I couldn't start it. I hitched a ride up to your road, and then I ran the rest of the way," explains Henry. "Here's the phone. Call the auto club," suggests Mike. "No, I can't do that. I can't do that," says Henry. Mike asks why and Henry says, "Because they will tow it, fix it, and hold it in the shop." "Isn't that what you need?" asks Mike, still confused. "I need a job, dude! Next to chocolate milk and some heartbreaker from his past, that car is the one thing B.J. loves most in the world. If he finds out I drove it, he will can me! Please, you've got to help me, Mike," begs Henry. "I don't know what you expect me to do," sighs Mike. "Mike, please. This -- this job is my whole future, okay? Not just my future, not just mine, it's Maddie's as well. I can't go to her and say I had to pack up and move back into the limo. Please, working for B.J. Is going to put my life back on track. Help me out?" asks Henry. "I think you should help him," says Katie, who has just come downstairs. "Come on, you just have to go take a look at it, see whether or not you can fix it. It won't take very long," she adds. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," urges Henry. "All right," Mike reluctantly agrees. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I owe you one," says Henry. "One?" asks Mike. He says good-bye to Katie and the two of them leave. Coincidentally, BJ arrives shortly thereafter looking for Mike, and ends up talking to Katie about the party. When the subject of dancing comes up BJ admits he doesn't know how, so Katie offers to teach him.
Henry and Mike end up outside Java. "You don't remember seeing any landmarks or road signs anywhere?" asks Mike. "Uh -- there were some signs, yeah," says Henry. "What'd they say?" asks Mike. "Juniper? Magnolia? I keep thinking shrubbery," says Henry. "Henry, we have been driving around in circles looking for this car for 20 minutes. Do you at least remember where you hitched from?" asks Mike, frustrated. "It was difficult -- you know that late autumn light, how tricky that can be," says Henry. "You know, go get a cup of coffee. Maybe the caffeine will give your mind a little swift kick," suggests Mike. "No, no, no, wait. I'm thinking -- I do remember that there were two tall willow trees at the intersection. Willow lane!" cries Henry. "You're sure?" asks Mike. "I'm absolutely sure," says Henry, and the two continue their search.
Henry and Mike have found the car. "There she is!" says Henry excitedly. "Henry, this is all the way on the other side of town," says Mike. "Yeah, I know. I have a horrible sense of direction," admits Henry. "How'd you ever drive a limo?" asks Mike. "Oh, those global positioning systems, they are a marvel, aren't they?" replies Henry. "Give me the keys," says Mike, holding out his hand. "Don't you want to check under the hood?" suggests Henry. "Give me the keys," repeats Mike. Henry hands him the keys. He gets in and turns the ignition, and the engine starts immediately. "You fixed it, Mike! You are the man! You are a miracle worker! Wow!" cries Henry. Mike does not look as pleased.
Mike goes home and finds BJ dancing with Katie. After he leaves, Mike calls Henry who is back at Java. "Mike, my man! Thank you so much for the rescue. I got the car back and no one was the wiser, if you know what I mean," says Henry. "Was this like when your back went out?" asks Mike. "Sorry, Mike, I'm not following you," says Henry. "Don't play me, Henry. Did you set up some fake breakdown so your boss could be alone with Katie?" asks Mike bluntly. "What -- what are you talking about?" asks Henry innocently. "Dance lessons, Henry. I walked in, B.J.'S doing a little two-step with my girlfriend. Did he get you to lure me out of the house so he could have her all to himself, or what?" asks Mike. "I -- I don't have a clue what you're talking about, Mike," says Henry, hanging up. "Good job," smiles BJ, who is sitting across the table. Henry doesn't look too proud of himself.
Today’s episode was directed by Jennifer Pepperman and written by Judy Tate.
Transcripts from TVMegasite B.J.: So I need to know. Can I count on you to get Mike out of the way? Henry: When you say out of the way, how far out of the way are we talking about? B.J.: Does it matter? You signed on to be my executive assistant. Henry: Yeah, that was before I knew what or who I'd be executing. [ B.J. Laughs ] You okay there? B.J.: You -- you're a funny guy. You know, I am not a mob boss who's asking you to rub someone out. It's nothing like that. Henry: I know that. I know. I know about that. I'd just -- I'd like to go over the finer points of how we're getting Mike out of the way. B.J.: I don't know. I just want some alone time with Katie, you know? Since I've been here, I haven't really had any good one-on-one time with her. Henry: What do you want to talk about? B.J.: Just old times, high school. Henry: She doesn't remember you from high school? Not that changing your name or the way you look or not telling her exactly who you are has anything to do with that. B.J.: I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Okay? Maybe I can remedy that though. You know, I've been thinking, right? Since she's helping me throw this back in the day party for Halloween that maybe if I had some time to talk to her -- I mean, really, really talk to her, then maybe -- maybe she would remember me from the old days. Henry: Okay, I would be the one to facilitate this, why? B.J.: Because you're my right hand man, man. Because I count on you. Because I've already proven that I can really sweeten the deal, friend. So what do you say?
[ Doorbell rings ] Are you expecting anybody? Katie: No. Mike: Go away! [ Doorbell rings ] Katie: Ah, the persistent type. All right, I'm going to go get dressed. So you answer the door, and I'm going to sneak upstairs really quietly. [ Doorbell rings ] Mike: I'm coming! Henry: Mike, you got to help me. You got to help me. Mike: What's going on? Henry: I'm in trouble, man! I'm in trouble with a capital "T." If you don't help me, my life's coming to a screeching halt. Mike: Slow down. What kind of trouble? Henry: I'm such an idiot! I'm an idiot! I just -- I had to take B.J.'S car for a spin. Mike: So what's the big deal? Henry: He doesn't know about it! Mike: So put it back where you found it. Henry: I can't, I can't. Mike: Why not? Henry: Because I hadn't even made it to the interstate, and then she started to buck and heave. And then she started coughing up smoke, and then this green liquid bile stuff started coming out of the -- I can't think about it, Mike! It's just too awful! Mike: Where is it now? Henry: Somewhere, man. Somewhere. It's out in juniper I think. It's -- I couldn't start it. I hitched a ride up to your road, and then I ran the rest of the way. Mike: Here's the phone. Call the auto club. Henry: No, I can't do that. I can't do that. Mike: Why not? Henry: Because they will tow it, fix it, and hold it in the shop. Mike: Isn't that what you need? Henry: I need a job, dude! Next to chocolate milk and some heartbreaker from his past, that car is the one thing B.J. Loves most in the world. If he finds out I drove it, he will can me! Please, you've got to help me, Mike. Mike: I don't know what you expect me to do. Henry: Mike, please. This -- this job is my whole future, okay? Not just my future, not just mine, it's Maddie's as well. I can't go to her and say I had to pack up and move back into the limo. Please, working for B.J. Is going to put my life back on track. Help me out? Katie: I think you should help him. Mike: Katie? Katie: Come on, you just have to go take a look at it, see whether or not you can fix it. It won't take very long. Henry: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mike: All right. Henry: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I owe you one. Mike: One? All right. I'll see you later? Katie: Yes. Mike: Why do I always have to be the nice guy? Katie: Because I wouldn't love you any other way. Thank you. Hurry back. Mike: Come on, Henry, let's go. Henry: Okay, thanks. Thank you. Katie: Good luck.
Mike: You don't remember seeing any landmarks or road signs anywhere? Henry: Uh -- there were some signs, yeah. Mike: What'd they say? Henry: Juniper? Magnolia? I keep thinking shrubbery. Mike: Henry, we have been driving around in circles looking for this car for 20 minutes. Do you at least remember where you hitched from? Henry: It was difficult -- you know that late autumn light, how tricky that can be? Mike: You know, go get a cup of coffee. Maybe the caffeine will give your mind a little swift kick. Henry: No, no, no, wait. I'm thinking -- I do remember that there were two tall willow trees at the intersection. Willow lane! Mike: You're sure? Henry: I'm absolutely sure.
Henry: There she is! [ Henry hums ] Mike: Henry, this is all the way on the other side of town. Henry: Yeah, I know. I have a horrible sense of direction. Mike: How'd you ever drive a limo? Henry: Oh, those global positioning systems, they are a marvel, aren't they? Mike: Give me the keys. Henry: Don't you want to check under the hood? Mike: Give me the keys. Henry: Okay! Wow, all right. [ Engine starting ] [ Henry gasps ] You fixed it, Mike! You are the man! You are a miracle worker! Wow!
[ Phone ringing ] Henry: Hello? Mike: Henry? Henry: Mike, my man! Thank you so much for the rescue. I got the car back and no one was the wiser, if you know what I mean. Mike: Was this like when your back went out? Henry: Sorry, Mike, I'm not following you. Mike: Don't play me, Henry. Did you set up some fake breakdown so your boss could be alone with Katie? Henry: What -- what are you talking about? Mike: Dance lessons, Henry. I walked in, B.J.'S doing a little two-step with my girlfriend. Did he get you to lure me out of the house so he could have her all to himself, or what? Henry: I -- I don't have a clue what you're talking about, Mike. B.J.: Good job.
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