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Wednesday, October 22, 2003 Katie and Henry continue with their plan to get rid of Mike's nurse, and Henry gladly complies! "Hey. Hey. You wanna get rid of the nurse? That lithesome creature with legs that go all the way up?" says Henry. Katie tells him to think of something, "Be creative, be charming." "Oh, sure, okay. Oh, my heart. My heart, my heart. I'm just abuzz with ideas of how I could distract the lovely miss Glenda," fantasizes Henry. "Just make sure she stays one sponge bath short of coming anywhere near Mike," instructs Katie. "Oh, see, darling, that's what I love about you. You never underestimate my ability to get a job done," says Henry. Katie asks him if he has a plan. "Oh, yeah. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it. The angel of mercy is about to meet the master of deception," says Henry. Glenda arranges to meet Mike at his house. She leaves his room and walks past Katie and Henry. "Lucky fool. Why does he get a playmate of the month to be his nursemaid? Hmm?" wonders Henry. Katie tells him to hurry before the playmate leaves. "All right. All right, all right, all right. I got it under control. Don't worry about it," says Henry as he puts on his sunglasses. "Miss Glenda? It's Glenda, right?" he asks. "It's a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. You know, you might not believe this, but this could be the luckiest day of your life." Henry is spinning his web for the defenseless Glenda. "You see, everybody out there, they're sick and tired of watching these spoiled brats looking for their 15 minutes of fame, and spending time in their reality TV playpens. No, no. What people want is the real thing. They want real women in the medical trenches. I took one look at you and I said 'Bam, pow! You are a star.'" "Me? Here in Oakdale?" asks Glenda. "Yeah, right here in Oakdale. Why not Oakdale? Why not small town, USA? That's where the real people are living. And I talked to this perky little blonde over here," explains Henry, motioning to Katie, "But once I found out she was just an aide, I knew I had to get the real deal." Glenda asks what for. "For the chance to be the envy of every woman in America. You - you, Glenda Corcoran, could be the star of 'Who Wants to Nurse a Millionaire?'" says Henry. "The concept's very simple," explains Henry. "We set you up in your own private physical therapy center - in a penthouse in Manhattan, a beach house in Venice, something like that. We haven't worked out all the details. But your clients, your patients, well, they're well-to-do, but not stuffy guys, who need the help of a very hot personal duty nurse/physical therapist. And one of these guys - and here's the catch, here's the zinger - is filthy rich." Just then Carly approaches and asks Henry where he's been, Sage misses him. Glenda asks who Sage is. "I really thought that you were loving spending time with her, you know?" says Carly. "Yeah, you know, babe, you know how it goes. Things move on - Sage was one of our early candidates," lies Henry quickly. Carly tells Henry she's serious, she needs help babysitting. "Well, you know, can't we all? Can't we all? You know what? Tell her I'll be in touch. I really think that there's something coming up for her very, very soon," Henry tells Carly. He turns back to Glenda and explains, "We had something else in development, a sorta similar concept - 'Who Wants to Babysit a Millionaire?' I think it's gonna be gold. Listen, Carly, you know what? I'm in the middle of a talk right now. Can I have my people call you? All right? Is that all right? Is that all right, baby? Good. Great," he says, encouraging Carly to leave. "Why don't we talk about this over lunch, hmm? Someplace new, trendy. Metro -- have you been there yet?" asks Henry. Glenda protests she has a patient. Henry takes her arm and tells her, "No, no, no. That's good. That's good to hear that you're getting into the role already. That's perfection. You know what? I'll get us a table. I have an in with the owner." Henry and Glenda are drinking champagne at Metro. Glenda suggests she call Henry tomorrow, she's supposed to be at her patient's place now. "There, you see? That's it. That's star quality. That's what I'm looking for. I mean, pretty girls, they're a dime a dozen. Believe me, I know. But you - you - your sense of duty, your sense of responsibility. You know, I'm gonna - I'm gonna need your agent's number, by the way," says Henry. Glenda says she doesn't have an agent. Henry says he'll get her Feingold, and book her on Letterman and Leno. "Everything's happening so fast. My head is spinning," giggles Glenda. "Well, it's-- it's only the beginning. Drink up," says Henry, pouring her more champagne. Meanwhile, Carly has driven Mike home from the hospital and Katie has arrived to cook him dinner. He's beginning to wonder where his nurse is. Glenda and Henry trip up to Mike's door. "Will Mikey be in the show?" asks Glenda, "Is he loaded?" Henry shushes her and says he's not going to tell her. He tells her to ring the bell. "Ring the bell?" asks Glenda. "The bell. The bell. The bell. The bell - ding dong. Ding dong," laughs Henry. "Ding dong," repeats Glenda. This goes on as Glenda attempts to ring the bell but keeps missing. Finally, Henry grabs her arms and gently pushes her into the doorbell. They both laugh as it rings. Henry says good-bye and leaves as Katie opens the door. "Mr. Cashnoff, I'm here," announces Glenda. "Who wants to play 'Who Wants to Nurse a Millionaire?' I do! I do!" squeals Glenda. She spies Katie and says, "Hey, sister, back off. This one's mine." She collapses into the nearest chair. "Uh, Mike, your nurse is here," says Katie. Today’s episode was directed by Ellen Wheeler and written by Judith Donato.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: Hey. Hey. You wanna get rid of the nurse? That lithesome creature with legs that go all the way up? Katie: Just think of something, Henry. Be creative, be charming. Henry: Oh, sure, okay. Oh, my heart. My heart, my heart. I'm just abuzz with ideas of how I could distract the lovely miss Glenda. Katie: Just make sure she stays one sponge bath short of coming anywhere near Mike. Henry: Oh, see, darling, that's what I love about you. You never underestimate my ability to get a job done. Katie: So we have a plan? Henry: Oh, yeah. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it. The angel of mercy is about to meet the master of deception.
Henry: Lucky fool. Why does he get a playmate of the month to be his nursemaid? Hmm? Katie: Hurry it up over there. The playmate is leaving. Henry: All right. All right, all right, all right. I got it under control. Don't worry about it. Miss Glenda? It's Glenda, right? Glenda: Yeah. Henry: It's a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. You know, you might not believe this, but this could be the luckiest day of your life.
Henry: You see, everybody out there, they're sick and tired of watching these spoiled brats looking for their 15 minutes of fame, and spending time in their reality TV playpens. No, no. What people want is the real thing. They want real women in the medical trenches. I took one look at you and I said "bam, pow! You are a star." Glenda: Me? Henry: Yeah. Glenda: Here in Oakdale? Henry: Yeah, right here in Oakdale. Why not Oakdale? Why not small town, USA? That's where the real people are living. And I talked to this perky little blonde over here, but once I found out she was just an aide, I knew I had to get the real deal. Glenda: For what exactly? Henry: For the chance to be the envy of every woman in America. You -- you, Glenda Corcoran, could be the star of "who wants to nurse a millionaire?"
Henry: The concept's very simple. We set you up in your own private physical therapy center -- in a penthouse in Manhattan, a beach house in Venice, something like that. We haven't worked out all the details. But your clients, your patients, well, they're well-to-do, but not stuffy guys, who need the help of a very hot personal duty nurse/physical therapist. And one of these guys -- and here's the catch, here's the zinger -- is filthy rich. Carly: Henry? Hi. Where have you been? Sage misses you. Glenda: Who's Sage? Carly: I really thought that you were loving spending time with her, you know? Henry: Yeah, you know, babe, you know how it goes. Things move on -- Sage was one of our early candidates, but -- Carly: I'm serious, Henry, I could really use some baby-sitting help, you know? Henry: Well, you know, can't we all? Can't we all? You know what? Tell her I'll be in touch. I really think that there's something coming up for her very, very soon. We had something else in development, a sorta similar concept -- "who wants to baby-sit a millionaire?" I think it's gonna be gold. Listen, Carly, you know what? I'm in the middle of a talk right now. Can I have my people call you? All right? Is that all right? Is that all right, baby? Good. Great. Why don't we talk about this over lunch, hmm? Someplace new, trendy. Metro -- have you been there yet? Glenda: Not yet, but I have a patient. Henry: No, no, no. That's good. That's good to hear that you're getting into the role already. That's perfection. You know what? I'll get us a table. I have an in with the owner.
Glenda: Maybe I better call you tomorrow. I promised my patient I'd be at his place by now. Henry: There, you see? That's it. That's star quality. That's what I'm looking for. I mean, pretty girls, they're a dime a dozen. Believe me, I know. But you -- you -- your sense of duty, your sense of responsibility. You know, I'm gonna -- I'm gonna need your agent's number, by the way. Glenda: I don't have an agent. Henry: What? Oh, okay. Feingold. Feingold. I'll get you Feingold. Everybody has Feingold. We're gonna get you on Letterman and Leno, stat. Glenda: Everything's happening so fast. Henry: Yeah, yeah. Glenda: My head is spinning. Henry: Well, it's -- it's only the beginning. Drink up.
Glenda: Will Mikey be in the show? Henry: Shh. Glenda: Is he loaded? Henry: I'm not gonna tell you, okay? Now, listen, I want you to keep smiling. All right? And ring the bell. Glenda: Ring the bell? Henry: The bell. The bell. The bell. The bell -- ding dong. Ding dong. Glenda: Ding dong. Henry: Hey, that's right. Ding dong. Glenda: Ding dong. Henry: No, no, no. Over there. Ding dong. Glenda: Ding dong. Henry: Just -- yeah, like when my people call your people. Ding -- here. Here you go. Ding dong. [ Doorbell rings ] Shh. Ding dong. Wow. Glenda: Okay, bye. Mike: What's going on out there? Katie: I don't know. I'll -- I'll get it. Whoa! Whoa. Glenda: Mr. Cashnoff, I'm here. Who wants to play "who wants to nurse a millionaire?" I do! I do! Hey, sister, back off. This one's mine. [ Giggling ] Oh. Katie: Uh, Mike, your nurse is here.
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