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Wednesday, September 24, 2003 On today's show, Paul has some new instructions for his employee Henry. Get caught! Henry shows up at Paul's apartment, looking very nervous. "I'm the mole, remember? Moles don't show their beady little eyes," he says. Paul tells him to relax. "Relax? Every time I relax, I end up in a suite at the Oakdale PD," complains Henry. Paul doesn't seem concerned by this, and asks if Henry took care of the van. Henry replies that it's "clean as a whistle." "So there's no fingerprints on the bugs or anywhere in the truck?" asks Paul. "No, Paul. Okay? It's so sterile, you could remove a kidney in there. All right?" says Henry impatiently. "Anyway, look - according to rest of the world, the van has been rented to a Mervin R. Jackman, all right? And the bugs are -- the bugs are state-of-the-art. You can't track 'em. You can't trace 'em," says Henry. Paul tells him he's impressed. "Really? Aw, wow. Don't embarrass me," says Henry sarcastically. "Of course, if you insist, I will take a performance bonus," he adds. Paul laughs and says, "Yeah. I'm afraid the curtain's going down on our little production tonight, Henry. We're gonna get caught." "Um - let me - I just wanna make sure I'm clear on everything. You want Dusty to know that we broke the law and then wired his little watering hole, correct?" asks Henry, a martini in his hand. Paul confirms that that is correct. "So that then all the fingers will point back to you?" asks Henry. "Correct again. Hey, you sure you know what to do with the doors on the van?" asks Paul. Henry assures him that he does, and asks about his final payment. Paul says they agreed on cash. "Small bills," Henry reminds him. Paul assures him he'll get it when the job is done. Henry is still perplexed about the whole idea. "Great, okay. Let me just - hold on a second here, maestro! What happens if Dusty calls the police?" he asks. "Then you and me, we got a lot of 'splainin' to do," jokes Paul. "Ha, ha! That's really funny," says Henry, not amused. "Explaining as in I'm the fall guy?" Paul tells Henry he has nothing to worry about, as long as he does what he tells him. "Right. Okay. And you've already cleared all of this with detective Jack Snyder," says Henry, still not convinced. "You don't need to worry about Jack. You don't need to worry about anything. Just do what I am telling you to do, and I'll get in touch with you as soon as the job is done about the money. And Henry, if everything goes well, a bonus isn't out of the question," says Paul. That's enough to calm Henry's fears. "Well, it's been good doing business with you. I'll get the bugs - I'll get the ball rolling," says Henry, leaving the apartment. Dusty and Molly are at Java Underground doing some paperwork to prepare for the opening of the club. Molly hears a noise coming from the back and asks Dusty if he hears it too. Dusty picks up a baseball bat and tells Molly to stay where she is. Henry comes sneaking in from the back and Dusty confronts him with the bat, asking him what he's doing. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. Don't hit me," begs Henry. "Want me to turn your head into a fly ball up the middle?" threatens Dusty. "No, no, look - I'm just - I'm just doing a little work here, okay?" says Henry. "You've never done an honest day's work in your pathetic life," accuses Molly. Henry says he never said it was honest, and Dusty asks him what kind of work he's doing. "Okay, all right. Look, I bugged the place, okay? I just wired it six ways from Sunday," admits Henry. Dusty asks him for whom. "For kicks, okay? I'm a little bored, you guys. All right? I don't live this kind of colorful, mysterious life that you do," says Henry. Dusty tells Molly to take a walk; it's time for batting practice. "Wait a minute, wait a minute! Okay! It was Paul Ryan, all right? He hired me. Okay? He's behind the whole thing!" says Henry. Dusty asks Henry what Paul is after, and Henry says he doesn't know. "He wouldn't tell me anything, all right? And then I got cold feet. So I came down here. I thought maybe he was gonna sell me out, I wanted to get rid of all the surveillance," explains Henry. Molly is about to call the police and Henry begs her to stop. "No, wait, wait, wait! No cops. No cops. No cops. Okay, listen. Let me tell you what I can do for you, all right? Tell me where you live, I'll come over to your place, I'll wire the whole place for free," offers Henry. "Henry, you got nothing to offer me," says Dusty. "A nice house theater system? Okay, let me show you where all the bugs are," says Henry. Dusty throws him out of the club, saying, "If you ever show your face in here again, you're gonna be begging for a jail cell. You understand me?" Henry says he understands. On the other side of the door he congratulates himself on his performance. "And the Oscar goes to - Mr. Henry Coleman. Move over, Mr. Deniro, there's a new kid in town." Today’s episode was directed by Maria Wagner and written by Judith Donato.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: I'm the mole, remember? Moles don't show their beady little eyes. Paul: Relax. Henry: Relax? Every time I relax, I end up in a suite at the Oakdale PD. Paul: Yeah, right. Did you take care of the van? Henry: Yeah, it's clean as a whistle. Paul: So there's no fingerprints on the bugs or anywhere in the truck? Henry: No, Paul. Okay? It's so sterile, you could remove a kidney in there. All right? Paul: Why -- Henry: Anyway, look -- according to rest of the world, the van has been rented to a Mervin R. Jackman, all right? And the bugs are -- the bugs are state-of-the-art. You can't track 'em. You can't trace 'em. Paul: I'm very impressed. Henry: Really? Aw, wow. Don't embarrass me. Of course, if you insist, I will take a performance bonus. [ Paul laughs ] Paul: Yeah. I'm afraid the curtain's going down on our little production tonight, Henry. We're gonna get caught.
Henry: Um -- let me -- I just wanna make sure I'm clear on everything. You want Dusty to know that we broke the law and then wired his little watering hole, correct? Paul: Correct. Henry: So that then all the fingers will point back to you? Paul: Correct again. Hey, you sure you know what to do with the doors on the van? Henry: Yeah, yeah. Okay. Uh -- there's still the question and the matter of my final payment. Paul: No, no, no. We agreed on cash. Henry: Yes, cash. Small bills. Paul: And you'll get it, as soon as the job is done. Henry: Great, okay. Let me just -- hold on a second here, maestro! What happens if Dusty calls the police? Paul: Then you and me, we got a lot of 'splainin' to do. Henry: Ha, ha! That's really funny. Explaining as in I'm the fall guy? Paul: No, look. You don't have anything to worry about. Just do everything the way I am telling you to do it, and everything will be fine. Henry: Right. Okay. And you've already cleared all of this with detective Jack Snyder. Paul: You don't need to worry about Jack. You don't need to worry about anything. Just do what I am telling you to do, and I'll get in touch with you as soon as the job is done about the money. And Henry, if everything goes well, a bonus isn't out of the question. Henry: Well, it's been good doing business with you. I'll get the bugs -- I'll get the ball rolling. Paul: Right.
Dusty: All these numbers are making my eyes cross. Molly: Yeah, I know. Me, too. We haven't even made a dent. Dusty: You want a drink? Molly: Later. Dusty: All work and no play makes molly a really -- molly: Careful the way you choose your words, buddy. Because I seem to remember you saying that when you tried to get me into bed once. Dusty: Oh, yeah? Molly: Yeah. Dusty: Well, I better work on my technique, then. [ Loud tapping sound ] molly: Did you hear that? Dusty: What? Molly: I heard something. It sounded like it was coming from the back. Dusty: Relax. Baby. The place is --- [ loud tapping sound ] molly: Again, did you hear -- you heard it that time, right? Dusty: Stay here, all right? Molly: No. No way. I'm going with you. Dusty: Stay there. Hey. What are you doing? Henry: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. Don't hit me. Molly: Henry? Henry: Hey. Easy, easy. Please don't hit me. Dusty: Want me to turn your head into a fly ball up the middle? Henry: No, no, look -- I'm just -- I'm just doing a little work here, okay? Molly: You've never done an honest day's work in your pathetic life. Dusty: What kind of work, pal? Henry: Honest? Honest? I never said honest. Dusty: What kind of work? Henry: Okay, all right. Look, I bugged the place, okay? I just wired it six ways from Sunday. Dusty: For who, you moron? Henry: For kicks, okay? I'm a little bored, you guys. All right? I don't live this kind of colorful, mysterious life that you do. Dusty: Molly, molly. Take a walk. I think it's time for batting practice. Henry: Wait a minute, wait a minute! Okay! It was Paul Ryan, all right? He hired me. Okay? He's behind the whole thing!
Dusty: Why would you want to listen in on my business? What's Paul Ryan after? Henry: I don't know. Dusty: You don't know? Henry: No, I don't know, okay? He wouldn't tell me anything, all right? And then I got cold feet. So I came down here. I thought maybe he was gonna sell me out, I wanted to get rid of all the surveillance. Molly: You know what? I'm calling the cops. Henry: No, wait, wait, wait! No cops. No cops. No cops. Okay, listen. Let me tell you what I can do for you, all right? Tell me where you live, I'll come over to your place, I'll wire the whole place for free -- Dusty: Henry, you got nothing to offer me. Henry: -- A nice house theater system? Okay, let me show you where all the bugs are -- Dusty: Let's go. Henry: A nice little -- wait, I'll give you a nice tour of where everything is. Dusty: If you ever show your face in here again, you're gonna be begging for a jail cell. You understand me? Henry: Yeah, I understand, okay? Dusty: Get out of here! Henry: And the Oscar goes to -- Mr. Henry Coleman. Move over, Mr. Deniro, there's a new kid in town. Molly: I really think we should call the cops. Dusty: Not till I figure out what Paul Ryan is after or at least what the guy has heard. Molly: Okay, then. What do you want me to do? Dusty: Help me kill some bugs.
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