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Wednesday, September 2, 2009 Henry and Audrey are holding James' lawyer hostage in the boiler room at the Lakeview to prevent him from delivering James' new will which disinherits Henry. On their way down to check on him, Katie and Vienna interrupt them and Katie pulls Henry aside to talk to him about Vienna's worries that the Stenbeck money is changing him. Henry assures her it's not, but she follows him down the boiler room (where the lawyer is supposed to be but is not) and forces him to tell her everything. They tell Vienna, and Henry goes to confront his mother. She has the lawyer hidden in her room, and tells Henry he'll have to kill his father. Today’s episode was directed by Habib Azar and written by Leslie Nipkow.
Transcripts from TVMegasite [ Audrey sighs ] Audrey: Good morning, sunshine! Henry: What's good about it? Audrey: I -- I slept like a log. Henry: What? How is that possible -- I didn't sleep a wink. Audrey: Oh, you know, did you try warm milk? Henry: Mom, you're incredible -- you're talking about beverages here, and meanwhile, we have a lawyer bound and gagged in -- in the boiler room. There's not enough sleeping pills in all of Oakdale to blot out that horror. Audrey: Why are you so anxious. You know, as long as we have James' attorney in protective custody -- Henry: You mean tied to a pipe? Audrey: [ Audrey sighs ] Henry, I say potato, you say -- Henry: Felony kidnapping charges. Audrey: Okay, look, this is nothing you can't buy your way out of. As long as James doesn't sign his new will, you are gonna inherit millions. Henry: How much time are we talking about? You cannot keep him tied up forever! Audrey: No, you're right. Not forever. Just until your dear, sweet daddy croaks. Henry: Mom, he doesn't have an expiration date, all right? James could go on living for -- for months. We don't know. Audrey: You want me to kill him? Henry: What? Audrey: I'm kidding! Oh, my goodness! I am kidding. You us to have the most fun sense of humor. Henry: Prison is not funny! Audrey: You have got to simply calm down! Henry: No, no, I don't have to calm down. You know why? Let me tell -- let me tell you something, okay? You and I -- we are not good criminals, all right? We're -- we're second-rate, at best. [ Henry stammers ] Kidnapping? That's way out of our league! We are going to get caught, okay? And then James' money is gonna be good for buying plastic combs from the prison canteen! Audrey: Fine. Don't think of it as kidnapping. think of it as we are paying James' lawyer not to work. Henry: Paying him with what? Audrey: Your future monies! All those future funds are gonna come in. We write him a whopping, big, big check, and nobody has to know. Henry: you -- you're assuming that he can be bought. Audrey: Please. When people go to college to be a lawyer, that's what they assume. They get to be bought. Come on! We got to do this. We got to bring m some breakfast, because I do not want him to think we are not civilized. [ Henry laughs ] Henry: Let's go.
Katie: Okay. Hi, Henry. Hey. Just, uh, coming to see you. Vienna: What are you two doing? Henry: Nothing special. Audrey: Shopping. Henry: What she said. Audrey: Uh, we're g -- we're going shopping. Vienna: Oh, well, Henry hates shopping. Let me take you. Henry: We -- we wanted to do some mother/son bonding, actually. Katie: In a store? Never gonna happen. Why don't you let Vienna take you? She turns shopping into an art form. Vienna: Yes! Let's go. Audrey: No, no, no. I wanted to spend time with my son. That was sort of the point. Katie: Oh, she'll get you back in one piece. We need to talk. Friend stuff. Henry: Katie --
Katie: Vienna thinks the Stenbeck money has turned you into a different man. Henry: I don't -- I already told her, as soon as the old m kicks it, I'm gonna sign over the inheritance to mom. What else can I do? Katie: Then what is Vienna so worried about ? Henry: She knows me too well. Katie: What does that mean? Henry: Nothing. Things with my mother are never as simple as you think they will be. Katie: Want to be a little more specific? Henry: No. Katie: Ok. As long as you know what you're doing. Henry: Yeah, I know what I'm doing, all right. Katie: Then my work here is done. Hen: I'll be careful. You be careful, too. I don't know if you've ever had the rolls here, but -- no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't happening. Lawyer man, hey. Hey! There's some high-quality baked goods here! Oh, my god. Oh, my god, moth, we are toast. Katie: Yes, you are, if you don't tell me what the hell is going on here.
Henry: We stashed the lawyer down here he can't deliver James' new will. Katie: And you kept him from delivering the will cause? Henry: Because if James signs it, then I'll be disinherited, and Paul will get every cent of the Stenbeck fortune. Katie: Are you crazy? Henry: Yes, yes! I'm totally crazy! My mother is driving me insane! And now she's turning me into a criminal! I -- I told you and Vienna what would happen if she invaded my life again, okay? This whole thing was her idea. And not the boiler-room thing. I actually brought James down here when I thought he was still a fugitive. But he is my long-lost father. But the lawyer caper thing - that's Audrey from the word go! Katie: Well, maybe you can get him to not press charges. Henry: Katherine, Katherine, I can't convince him of anything if I can't find him. And he's a lawyer, so he's going to pre charges, all right? He's probably gonna sue me for every cent that I'm not gonna get because he's escaped. [ Henry breathing heavily ] Oh, my god. I'm gonna go to jail. I'm gonna go to jail. I can't be in prison. I can't -- I won't survive prison. Katie: Calm down. Getting hysterical is not gonna help anything. Let's just get out of here and go deal with this.
Vienna: Have any of you seen Audrey? Katie: Isn't she with you? Vienna: Well, she was, until she lured me into the dressing room, locked the door, and ran f with the key. Henry: Oh, I'm gonna kill her. Kill her! Vienna: No, not if I get to her first. [ Vienna sighs ] So -- Katie: Oh, yes. Uh, you're not gonna like it. Henry -- Henry: Huh? Katie: Do you have something to say to Vienna? Henry: No, not really, no. Katie: Henry. Henry: Vienna, liebchen -- Vienna: Okay, this is -- this is gonna be really bad, isn't it? Henry: That -- that depends on how you define "bad." Katie: Just get it over with. Henry: Okay. Just know that I will love you forever, no matter how long they put me away for.
Vienna: What happened to you, Henry? You are not a kidnapper. Henry: Shh! Vienna: I can't believe you would do something like this. And then you wouldn't even tell me about it? Henry: If I had told you, would that make it okay? Vienna: No! No, of course not! But at least I would have the chance to talk y out of it! After geneva, we -- we promised each other no more secrets. Henry: We did? Katie: Focus, you two. We don't really have time to be dissecting your entire relationship. Henry: You -- you're right. Look, I am -- I am so sorry. Have no idea what came over me. Actually, yes, I do know what came over me. It was my mother. That woman is a horrible influence. Vienna: I could strangle that woman. [ Cell phone rings ] Henry: It's her. Vienna: Answer it. Henry: Yes? Audrey: Are you alone? Henry: No, I am with Katie and Vienna. Audrey: Okay, well, ditch the broad squad and get back to my room now. Henry: She wants to see me. Vienna: I'm going with you. Henry: No, I can handle my mother. Katie: Really? Vienna: No, that witch -- she locked me in a dressing room. I'm not gonna let her have the last word. Henry: I will defend your honor, okay? I'm gonna tell her, too, that the jig is up. No more inheritances, no more kidnappings, and if we don't do something soon, no more creature comforts, unless you count spiders and roaches and very lonely cell mates. Katie: You can do it, Henry. Vienna: Okay, good luck. [ Henry sighs ] Audrey: What took you so long! Henry: How re you? How dare y lock up Vienna in a dressing room?! She's traumatized! Audrey: Oh, come on! You know what? She was obviously up to something, so I got the jump on her, and she's fine. She survived. Henry: She could have been claustrophobic! You could have given her an episode! Audrey: Oh, please, come on! There was a great, big, huge mirror that's tons of hours of entertainment for women like Vienna. Henry: You know what? Okay, you know what? Fine. We're gonna fight about this later. Right now, we have a really big drama on our hands. The lawyer is gone! Which means this may be our last few moments of freedom. Audrey: Hmm. And what is it you're babbling on about Henry: Jail, mom. Us going to the big house. Hopefully not together, because then I'd have to take the drawstring out of my polyester pants and hang myself! Audrey: Okay! Could you -- geez -- just cool it? We are so lucky that I am so much smarter than you. Henry: This isn't the time for insults. Audrey: Okay. I want you to peek in the laundry basket. Come on, come on, come on. Peek. [ Muffled shouts ]
Henry: What is the plan here? You cannot leave him in there. Audrey: You know the plan. We keep him until James dies and you get your money. Henry: And then he sues us and takes it all away! Audrey: I keep telling you, that's okay, because we are gonna give him a lot of money. You're gonna give him a percentage, and we'll call it "for services rendered," just like that. Henry: "Services rendered"? Audrey: Yeah, yeah! Lawyers do not care how they make their money. Henry: Um -- okay, you know what? There -- there is a slight wrinkle in your little scheme re. Audrey: Really? Shoot. Henry: Yes. James could go on indefinitely. Audrey: I know. I've been thinking about that. That could be a little bit of a problem, because nature may not run its course in a timely fashion. Henry: What does that mean? Audrey: It means you're going to have to kill your father. |