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Friday, July 31, 2009 Henry is trying to deal with his mother being back his life. She calls Vienna and convinces her to come home, so that Vienna will put in a good word for her. Henry is so happy to see Vienna that he agrees to give Audrey a chance. Meanwhile, Audrey makes a suspicious phone call about a DNA test.
Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by Gordon Rayfield.
Transcripts from TVMegasite [Audrey groans] [Audrey laughs] Audrey: Ooh la la, my son. I -- I always knew you had a very active imagination. [Door opens] Henry: What are you doing?! Audrey: Th -- this is -- it's a mess. Henry: It's my mess! Audrey: Well, you know what? I raised you to be very neat. Henry: It's none of your business. [Audrey sighs] Audrey: I am just trying to help out. Henry: No, you are not. Audrey: Well, what else -- what in the world would I be doing in your drawers? Henry: You were looking for something to steal. Audrey: That is a horrible thing to say. Henry: Don't you deny it, mother. It won't work.
Henry: You were trying to steal something from me. Audrey: How can you really say that to me? Henry: How can I -- you've been stealing from me since I was 7 years old. You remember when you -- you broke my piggy bank so you could go to Cahokia Downs? Audrey: Well, yeah, yeah! But I -- I swore to you, I promised I would -- I would pay you back! Henry: Because you got caught! [Audrey sighs] What are you looking for now? My -- my bank account passwords, my safe deposit key, what? Audrey: What happened to you, my cute, little, fluffy, adorable son? Do you know how much it hurts me to see how embittered and distrustful my favorite son has become? Henry: I'm your only son! And I'm not your personal ATM machine. You know what? Gonna put a stop to this right now. Audrey: What -- what are you doing? Who are you calling? Henry: I'm calling the front desk. I'm gonna get you your own room so you can make arrangements to leave. Actually, you know what? We'll stop by the front desk on the way out. Audrey: Where are we going? Henry: Someplace where you can't do any more damage. Come on.
[Doorbell rings] Brad: Who is this? Katie: Go find out. [Brad growls] Henry: I need a favor. Brad: We are in the middle of something. Henry: Can it wait? I need you to keep an eye on this one. Audrey: Do -- do you see this? Do you see how he treats his poor, old mother? Henry: You are not old, mother, and you've got to be far from poor, considering how much money you've stolen over the years. Audrey: I have never taken a dime that did not belong to me. Henry: A dime, no, but thousands of dollars, maybe. Keep your hands on your wallets! Brad: W -- where are you going? Henry: I'm gonna go shore up my financial firewall before my mother's next attack. Audrey: Oh! You -- you -- drama queen! [Audrey sighs] Katie: What happened? Audrey: Oh, well, I just -- I was trying to tidy up, and I was putting these lovely little senate drawer liners in his drawer, trying to make him feel better. And he stormed in, and he started yelling nasty accusations at me. Katie: Oh, it's not you. It really isn't. He's just not the same since Vienna left. [Voice breaking] Audrey: Yeah, so he takes it out on me, his poor mother? Why not? Better me than somebody he actually cares about. Katie: I'll get you a tissue. Audrey: Oh, I'm sorry! Brad: I'll get you some water. Audrey: Okay, thank you. I appreciate it. [Cell phone rings] Yeah, it's me. I'm ready to move. Yeah, it's time. I'll be ready. Katie: Did you say something? [Audrey gasps] [Voice breaking] Audrey: No, just crying. Katie: Oh, here. Audrey: Oh, thank you. [Audrey blows nose] Oh. Oh, thank you so much. It's so nice of you. You know, mm, mm, it's so great that Henry has such special, cute friends like you.
Audrey: Well, I have to admit, I haven't been the most attentive mother in the world. I have a lot of making up to do. Though I think today, mothers can be so smothering, don't you? Katie: They can be, yeah. Brad: That was Janet. We're invited for dinner over at Carly's. Katie: Why? Brad: Well, uh, Janet's kid sister Teri -- she's, uh, in town unexpectedly, so they're having a dinner for her. Katie: At Carly's? Brad: Well, Janet said that, uh, you know, Liberty's back. She'll be there, and Jack, too, and -- and your brother. Katie: Craig? You can count me out. Brad: The doctor said you can go out as long as you take it easy. Katie: An evening with Craig doesn't exactly qualify as "easy." Brad: Well, wait until you meet Janet's kid sister. She's a little firecracker. Katie: Oh, I'm sure she is. But if you'll remember, we do have a guest. Audrey: Oh, no. But, uh -- uh, no. You can't change your plans on my account, no. Brad: Well, I'll -- I'll call Henry. Katie: Oh, I would feel so bad just running out on you. Audrey: I would feel worse if you didn't. Brad: He's not answering. Hey, Henry, it's Brad. It's important. Call me back. He must be on another call.
Henry: Listen. You heard me. I want everything changed -- account numbers, passwords, statement addresses -- everything. How long will that take? No, that's too long! No, I don't have any information that there's been a breach. But trust me, there will be, and very soon.
Audrey: Okay. [Audrey laughs] This is -- this is my room, the room. Brad: Okay. Well, are you sure you're gonna be okay, being here alone? Audrey: Yes, thank you. I'll be fine. Brad: All right. Well, you got my -- you got my, uh, cell, so call me if you need anything. Audrey: Thank you. Mwah! You know something? You are a true gentlemen, unlike other people around here. [Brad laughs] Brad: All right, well, uh, I'll call you later. Audrey: Okay. See you later. [Audrey sighs] Okay. Where was I? Perfect. [Audrey sighs] Okay. It's time.
Henry: Hey. Have you seen my mother? Bartender: Sorry, no. Henry: Thank you. Henry: What the hell? [Water running] Oh. [Henry sighs] It's okay, mother. It's over. You can come out now. I don't know what I was thinking. Nothing but a grifter and a reprobate. Nobody ever changes. Vienna: You're right, Henry. Nobody ever changes, especially you.
Henry: Vienna, what are you doing here? Vienna: This is my room, remember? Henry: I thought you were in Sweden. Uh, when did you get back? Vienna: Yesterday. I wanted to see you right away, but I was too afraid. Henry: Why? Vienna: Because you hurt me, Henry. I love you so much, but what you did -- Henry: I know, I know. I know what I did. It was awful. It was horrible. It was unforgivable. But please, I -- I spend every minute thinking about that, the -- the idea that maybe you could -- you could forgive me. And -- and then I could spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Vienna: Yeah, but do you even know what you did wrong? Henry: Of course. Of course I did. Of course I did. [Henry stammers] I wanted to protect you from all those ogling strangers on TV, and I went too far! Vienna: No, no, no! That's not it at all! Henry: It's not? Vienna: No, that's the problem! Because you think that you were just defending my honor! B -- but in fact, you were just being selfish, and you just want me all by yourself! Henry: Of course! Of course I do! You're the love of my life! I don't want to share you with anybody! Vienna: No, but you have to! I want a life, too! Henry: You have a life. You -- you've got -- you've got the diner. You've got metro. Vienna: No, but that's not enough, Henry. Yes, I admit it. I did like the attention. But not as much as you did. Henry: I know, I know, I know. I liked the attention way too much. But you got to understand, nothing -- nothing means more to me than you do. Vienna: And I feel the same way. You know that. Henry: Does that mean that you forgive me? Give me another chance? Vienna: Yeah. Only if you promise that you will never lie or never deceive or ever hurt me again. Henry: Never. Mm. Vienna: Mm! No. Henry: What, what? Why no -- no? Vienna: Okay. If I'm gonna give you a second chance, it's only fair that you give a second chance to your mother. Henry: My mother? What does my mother have to do with this? Vienna: Who do you think convinced me to come back? [Henry laughs]
Audrey: Thank you. Ah, well, if it isn't the two lovebirds. Have happy times been restored? Vienna: Yes, they have. And Henry -- he has something to tell you. Henry: Yes. What you did was very generous, mother, and I'd like to thank you. Audrey: Oh. Okay, you're welcome. Um, but I just want to tell you that I'm really glad I could help you get your lovely Vienna back. I know how miserable you were without her. Vienna: Yes. And since you convinced me to -- to give him a second chance, he's gonna give you a second chance. Henry: Yes, we're just going to take it day by day and just see where it goes. Vienna: Yeah. Audrey: Okay. That's good enough for me.
Vienna: She really cares about you, Henry. She was so sweet to me, and she -- she's so worried about you. She convinced me to come back. Henry: Just like Brad and Katie, she's got everybody snowed. Vienna: No, no, no, no. She -- she's for real, Henry. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here. Henry: Look, I forgave her, didn't I? [Henry stammers] And I said I'd give her another chance. Vienna: I know, but -- Henry: No! Let's -- let's -- let's stop talking about my mother. Vienna: So what do you want to talk about? Henry: I don't want to talk at all. [Vienna chuckles] Audrey: Okay. I've got what you need. Now I need that DNA test right away.
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