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Thursday, July 28, 2005
Today’s episode was directed by Sonia Blangiardo and written by Judith Donato.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Mike: Hi. Maddie: Hi? Mike: Is Katie here? Maddie: Yeah. Who're you? Mike: I'm Mike. Mike Kasnoff? [Door slams] Maddie: Thanks, we're not interested. Mike: Open the door. Where's Katie? Maddie: Gone. Mike: Okay, little girl, open this door because she's expecting me. Katie: Who's at the door? Mike: Katie. Katie: Mike? Mike: Where were you? Katie: Upstairs. Why didn't you answer the door? Maddie: I did. Mike: Then she slammed it in my face. Maddie: I thought you were a salesman. Mike: I barely got my name out. Henry: You got off easy, pal. Mike: She belongs to you? Henry: Yeah, genetically speaking, she does. I'd like you to meet the kid sister, Maddie Coleman. Mike: Any reason your kid sister would want to slam a door in my face? Henry: Maybe I was a little overprotective of her when she was young, and she's trying to pay me back? Mike: Why would she want to protect you from me? Henry: That is what I would like to know.
Maddie: I made a mistake, that's all. I thought you were trying to sell something. And I thought I would do Katie a favor by getting rid of you. Henry: And? Maddie: And I'm sorry. Okay? Katie: Why don't we all sit down? Henry: You know, we've gotta run. Maddie: No, we don’t. Do you have anything to drink? I'm really thirsty. Henry: I will pick you up a bottled water on the way. Let's go. Katie: I have lemonade. Maddie: I love lemonade. Mike: You know, why don't I come by later? Katie: No. Henry: No, we're not staying, so -- Maddie: But I didn't even -- I just met your wife -- I mean, Katie. Mike: You know what? Have your lemonade, and I'll see you later. Katie: But you just got here. Henry: Right, which is why if anyone should be leaving -- Maddie: It should be him. Well, if he was nice enough to offer, shouldn't we take him up on it? Henry: Madeline. Katie: Lemonade all around? Henry: No. You know what? We have overstayed our welcome by about two years now. Mike: It's okay, Henry. Maddie: See? Henry: You know what? We will be back. I promise we will be back after I enroll her in some charm school. Maddie: Oh, he's such a joker. You must love that about him. Katie: Well, Henry’s sense of humor is quite famous in this town. Henry: Yeah, and there's some things that are no laughing matter, okay? Mike, I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to say I'm sorry about the baby. Mike and his wife just lost a little boy. Maddie: His wife? Then what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with her?
Henry: You heard me, young lady, apologize. Maddie: I thought I did that already. Mike: It's okay, Henry. Katie: Let's just start over. Maddie: I just asked some innocent questions. Henry: Said Marie Antoinette before they lowered the guillotine. We are going, okay? Tell Snickers I'll stop by very soon. And, Mike, what can I say? I'm sorry. Maddie: Let go, Henry. Henry: Ah! Say goodbye, Maddie. Maddie: Wait. Henry: Come on, out the door. Maddie: Henry! Why did you do that? I just was telling the truth. Henry: You don't know my truth, okay? Now what I want you to do is march your little self down to the car, and shut that pretty little mouth of yours, or I'll get some duct tape and shut it for you. Maddie: Henry! Katie: So much for a little privacy, huh? I hate to say it, but Henry’s little sister was kind of a buzz kill. Mike: But she makes a point. Katie: Mike, she doesn't even know you. Mike: She's got her facts right. Katie: Not all of them. Mike: I just -- I wish we could start all over from day one. Katie: Me too. So, let's do it. Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Katie Frasier. Mike: Katie -- Katie: Go to your car, get your tool belt. Fix something around here while I fix us something to eat, and we'll be happy like we were when we first fell in love. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't find a place for everything yet. Mike: You think we can get rid of the memories by stuffing them in the attic? They're still gonna be there, Katie. No matter what.
Henry: Hey, little sister. How are you? Guess what I found? I found a one-way bus ticket to home, of all places. Maddie: But you need me. Henry: To do what, Maddie? Get rid of what few fries I have left? Maddie: Mike took your wife. Some friend. Henry: No, no, I -- I left Katie, remember? Maddie: Because of him. Let me just treat you to a latte. Henry: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, what is that? What -- are you dealing drugs? How did you -- this is -- I haven't seen this kind of cash since Vinnie "the Gagootz" Diverna hit 50-1. Maddie: I worked for every last cent. Henry: Doing what? Do I need to ask? Maddie: Selling doughnuts. I saved and saved until I can come and see my big brother. I've missed you, Henry. Henry: I missed you, too, cupcake. Maddie: So why won't you let me do something nice for you? Henry: Yo-- you can do something nice for me. You can nicely get on this bus, and you can nicely go home. Maddie: And what, just leave you here all alone? Henry: I'm not -- I'm not alone. I -- you met Snickers. Yeah, and you know, at the end of a long day behind the wheel, I curl up with a nice, dry martini and a 50-inch widescreen at the watering hole of my choice. I'm good, you know? Life is good, Maddie. Maddie: If a scruffy rabbit and alcohol is what you consider a good life, you need me worse than I thought. Yeah, I'm not gonna leave until you and Katie are back together, where you belong.
Henry: Of course I love Katie. Everybody loves Katie, but Katie loves Mike. And that's -- it's just simple math. Maddie: But Mike is married to somebody else. Henry: Right. Not for long. Maddie: Okay, so what's the plan? Henry: The plan. The plan is for you to get on bus 827 about two blocks east of here. Maddie: No. I mean the plan to get Katie back. Henry: Honey, just take your donut money and go home, okay. [Pager beeping] Oh, great. Duty calls. Listen, I gotta run. I want you to stay here, and then I'm gonna come back, pick you up and we're gonna go to the bus station, all right? Maddie: Air out the limo. It smells like moo shu pork. Henry: Ooh. Left it in there for a long time, didn't I? Yeah, I should -- oh, and one more thing. Can you spot me a $20? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! I'm totally kidding. I can't believe I got you on that one. I love you. Maddie: Love you, too. Forget it, big brother. I'm not leaving till that wife of yours comes to her senses.
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