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Monday, July 27, 2009 Henry is depressed about Vienna leaving, but Katie and Brad convince him to go down to the station and ask Kim to offer Vienna her old job back. Instead, Kim offers Henry the job! Brad doesn't think that's a good idea, so Henry declines. Upon returning to his suite at the Lakeview, he finds flowers with a note that says, "can't wait to see you again." Thinking it's Vienna, he puts on his best jacket and prepares himself to welcome her back. There's a knock on the door and he opens it expecting to see Vienna, but instead he finds his mother! Today’s episode was directed by Sonia Blangiardo and written by David A. Levinson.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Katie: Hey, Henry. [ Henry groans ] It's time to wake up. Henry: No. Katie: All you've been doing for the past few days is sleeping. Henry: So? Katie: So, you haven't moved since I left for my doctor's appointment. That was, like, three hours ago. Enough is enough. Henry: No, it's bright. The doctor -- the doctor's appointment. How's the baby? The baby good? Katie: The baby's fine. Henry: Good. Katie: Listen, I know you're upset that Vienna left. I'm upset for you. But sooner or later, you're gonna have to do something to get out of this funk. Henry: You're just saying that 'cause you want me off your couch. Katie: No, if that was the case, I would just have Brad move you to the chair. Henry: The chair's lumpy. What are you doing? Katie: I'm eating ice cream. Don't judge me. I have a craving. Henry: What flavor is it? Katie: Cookie dough. Henry: That's my weakness. Katie: Really? I thought your weakness was cards, martinis, and beautiful women. Henry: And ponies. Don't forget the ponies. Why don't you grab a spoon and bring that frozen goodness on over here. Katie: You want some? Henry: Yeah. Katie: Come and get it. Henry: That would require getting up off the couch. Katie: Come on, Henry. You can do it.
Henry: She called me selfish. Can you believe that? Katie: No. Henry: And the worst part is, she's right. I am selfish. Katie: No! No, I think Vienna just said that 'cause she was upset. Henry: Of course she was upset. I betrayed her. I let Geneva's fame go to my head. I got seduced by the spotlight and the adoration of all the fans. Katie: Vienna's gonna come back to you. Henry: I don't know why she would. Katie: Because she loves you. Henry: She gave me her heart, Katie. Her whole heart. You know how rare that is? She's my reason for being. She's my strudel. My liebchen. She's the only woman I've ever really loved. Katie: Well, let's not get carried away. She's not the only woman you've ever loved. Henry: Yeah, there's been others. Katie: Yeah. Henry: As special as Geneva was, it's just not quite the same. You know what I mean? Katie: That's not really what I was talking about, but whatever. Anyway, you know what you need to do? You need to get up, go home, get dressed, put on some nice, fresh, clean clothes. Henry: You're kicking me out? Katie: Well, no. I just don't think it's healthy to sit around, wallowing in self-pity. Henry: Why not? I'm really good at it. And there's no one else I can blame for this but myself. I did this. It's my problem, my fault. I just wish I could take it all back.
Brad: Henry, this is all your fault. If you would have just left well enough alone, Vienna and I would still both have jobs. Henry: And I'd still have Vienna. Brad: You see? Henry: Yes! Brad: You see what I mean? Henry: I do, okay? I got it! I messed up. Can we stop pointing that out? It's not like I can turn back the hands of time here. Katie: All you have to do is just go to Kim and apologize. Henry: I did that. Katie: Well, do it again and mean it this time. Tell her you're so sorry, you feel so bad, and that dressing up as Geneva was the worst mistake you've ever made in your life. And if she'll just give Vienna another chance to host the show with Brad, then there will be no more trouble. Brad: Yeah. Katie: Oh, and you, you need to remind Kim how good you and Vienna were together and that if she'll just give you another chance, you guys could recapture that. Henry: No, no, slow down here, bubbles. There's one problem. I mean, even if I make the greatest pitch in show-biz history to Kim, we still have one problem. Katie: What's that? Henry: Vienna's not here. She's in Sweden. And she's not coming back. Katie: Well, you she said that she missed the spotlight, right? Henry: Yeah. Katie: So take the spotlight and put it back on her, and like a moth to a flame -- Henry: My Vienna shall return. Katie: Exactly. Henry: Okay. Okay, let's go. Come on. Up, up, up. Got to go talk to Kim. Brad: Now? Henry: Yes, now, now! Brad: Don't you want to at least take a shower first? Henry: No, no, I want her to smell the self-loathing coming off of me. It'll make my apology seem more genuine. Let's go. Katie: You guys call me, let me know how it goes. Brad: You so owe me for this!
Fan #1: It's him! It's him! Fan #2: We've been waiting outside all day! Henry: Ladies, why can't you get this? I am not Geneva, okay? Geneva was a woman. Sort of. And I'm a man. Brad: Sort of. Fan #1: But you being a man is even better. Henry: It is? Fan #2: Yeah, it's like you think like we do. You -- you say the things that are on our minds. Brad: Maybe you are a woman. Fan #1: He's made gender irrelevant. And, unlike Geneva, you're real. Brad: I can't listen to this anymore. Kim, can we please -- can we please talk? Kim: Ladies. Ladies, I'm sorry, this is a closed set. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Please. [ Ladies cheer ] Fan #2: You're the best! Bye! Fan #1: Whoo! Kim: Thank you. Yes, yes, bye. And, Henry, it seems to me I remember telling you that I never ever wanted to ever see you anywhere near this station. What was there about that that you didn't understand? Henry: I am so sorry that I lied to you and to Brad and the audience. But mostly to Vienna. She's the love of my life, and I'm trying to apologize to her, but she's not listening, mainly 'cause she's not here. But if you would give her another chance, she could come home, and then I could make things right. Brad: Kim, you've got to admit, that before Henry, Geneva, or Henry-as-Geneva came along that, you know, Vienna and I, that we were great. Kim: Yes, you were. You were terrific together. Henry: Does that mean you'll give them another chance? Kim: No, it doesn't. I can't do that. That ship has sailed. Henry: But you're the captain! Call it back into port! Kim: Yeah, well, unfortunately, when Vienna attacked Geneva on the air, she alienated the audience. So it's too late. Brad: She had every right to do that. I mean, Geneva was a pain in the ass! Henry: This can't be happening. Kim: However -- Henry: However? There's a "however"? Brad: However? Kim: I obviously heard the fans and heard what they had to say, and to be perfectly honest, they're not the only ones who feel this way. Brad: What are you getting at? Kim: Well, I'm probably gonna regret this the rest of my life. But, Brad, I will put you back on the air if Henry agrees to be your co-host. Brad: Henry? Did you say Henry?
Henry: Do you really mean that? You want me to host the show with Brad? Kim: Yes. What do you think? Henry: That's -- that's interesting. It's interesting. What are we talking about salary-wise here? Brad: Oh, forget it! Henry: You don't want me to dress up like Geneva again, do you? Kim: No! No. I hesitate to say this, but I want you to just be yourself. Brad: Well, which self would that be, you know? The booze-swilling card shark or the cross-dressing, back-stabbing goober? Henry: Whoa! That's a little -- I'm also an author and an entrepreneur. Brad: Will you listen to me? You're not supposed to be here negotiating a contract for yourself. You're supposed to be trying to get Vienna back. Henry: I know. Brad: I mean, do you want to make sure that she never comes back ever? Henry: No. Brad: Okay, then. Henry: Could you give Vienna the second chance instead? Kim: Nope! I told you I can't do that. Henry: I understand. Kim: You do? Henry: No, not really. Kim: Okay. If you ever change your mind, just let me know. Brad: No!
Henry: "All is forgiven. Can't wait to see you again." "Can't wait to see you again"? Oh, my god, Vienna! Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god! [ Cellphone rings ] Brad: Hello. Henry: It's me, Henry. You're never gonna believe what happened. It's the miracle of all miracles! Brad: Whoa, whoa. Slow down, slow down. What are you talking about? Henry: Vienna! Vienna! She's coming home, man. Brad: What? Are you sure? Henry: Yeah! Yeah! There's, like, flowers. There's a card here. She says all is forgiven, she can't wait to see me again. Katie: What's going on? Brad: Henry just -- he heard from Vienna. She's coming back. Katie: You're kidding! Brad: Yeah, that is great news, bud. Great news. Henry: I know. I know. I can hardly believe it myself. Uh, I got to go, okay? I'll call you in a week. Maybe two. Okay, bye. Hey, I got a lot of work to do.
Henry: Smooth, Coleman. Very smooth. [ Knock on door ] Liebchen! Vienna, my darling -- [ Sighs ] Audrey: You know, if you keep standing there, staring at me with your mouth open like that, do you realize how many flies you might swallow? Henry: Mom. |