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Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Lucinda and Katie are having a discussion in the El Capitan hotel in Avanya, while Rose and Paul are doing a little catching up.  A man in a mask runs in being chased by Desi because he was trying to break into the hotel safe.  Katie hits the man with a tray, grabs him, and rips off the mask - it's Henry!  Katie smacks him and calls him a "cheating little rodent."  She accuses him of trying to steal the provenance, which of course he was.  Henry admits that he overheard Desi saying he had hid it in the hotel safe.  Katie tells Henry she could wring his "scrawny little neck," that provenance is the only leverage they have to get Joe and Simon back.  "Get Simon back?" questions Henry.  Katie explains that the plastic surgeon's drawings of Simon are real, and that the fake Simon is a monster named Donovan Curry.  He knows where Simon and Joe are and he wants the provenance.  Lucinda interrupts, saying, "Katie dear, do you feel it necessary to share every little detail with this swine?"  She threatens to call the police.  Henry tells them that would be a bad idea.  Katie says that he almost ruined everything, so he'll need to make it up to them.  "How?" asks Henry.  "By making yourself useful," responds Katie.

After Katie and Lucinda have a little conference, Katie tells Henry that he will find Joe and Simon.  He will follow Donovan until he takes him to the prisoners.  Henry reminds them that they said this man likes to shred people into ribbons, and refuses.  Lucinda tells him he's their "last best hope."  Donovan knows her, Katie, and Rose.  So it has to be Henry, he can always wear a disguise if necessary.  Henry asks the eternal question, "What's in it for me?"  "Have you lost your hearing, too? I'm giving you a 'get out of jail' card free - unless you want to go into police custody, if you prefer sadists and mice and gruel," says Lucinda.  Henry says no, and tells Lucinda, "I've acquired a bit of overhead while I've been down here, some living expenses perhaps?"  "This is no time for lengthy negotiations, I shall be most generous," replies Lucinda.  Henry hopes that Donovan's ribbon cutting days are over.  Katie takes Henry to find Desi.  He'll help them find something that will fit, and Henry will be perfectly safe, she hopes!  "Not a dress, please," mutters Lucinda as they walk away.

Henry comes back into the bar dressed head to toe in camouflage.  "What are you supposed to be?" asks Lucinda.  "I don't know," says Henry, "I saw this on some G.I. Joe doll once."  Katie says he looks fine, Avanya is crawling with soldiers, so Desi won't notice him.  Lucinda tells him, "You've had your orders, Private, now march!"  She even offers him a marching song, "I had a good life and I left, two, three, four."  Henry marches away to do his duty.

Meanwhile, in the Avanya jail, Donovan and Simon have an unpleasant exchange.  Donovan takes Joe with him and leaves Simon in the cell.  Shortly after they leave, Henry walks in and says, "Psssst!"  Simon tells whoever it is to go away, and Henry says, "Quit moping around, Simon!"  Simon turns around and looks positively delighted!  "Henry?" he asks in disbelief.  "Who else do you think would be crazy enough to don this outfit and just walk into a third world prison?" responds Henry.  "I never in my life thought I'd be actually glad to see you," says Simon happily.

Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by Judy Tate.

Transcripts from ATWTweekly

[ Inside the Lounge ]
>> Lucinda: And if this Donovon Curry, or whatever his name is, is really gone, and he's flown the coop, then maybe we should split up. You could move your things back into your room, and then my room could return to some semblance of normalcy.
>> Katie: I guess I'm not the best roommate in the world, am I?
>> Lucinda: Ah -- your nocturnal habits are not ideal.
>> Katie: Sorry. I just couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning, thinking about Simon. Where is he? What's happening to him? I mean, what are they doing -- that Donovon Curry is the only one who has that information. If he took off, and he took off with that information, we should've tried to deal with him or just make some sort of deal.
>> Lucinda: Darling, how could we make a deal with him? You know, we had hurt his male vanity. He's not going to give us Simon and Joe for the provenance.
>> Katie: Why not, though? It's so stupid! It doesn't make sense. Doesn't he need the provenance to prove that the diamond's worth something?
>> Lucinda: He needs the provenance, but he's been outfoxed and humiliated by three silly women. He's gone off. He's taken off to lick his wounds someplace.
>> Katie: So what do we do now? Just sit here again and again? I just feel so helpless just sitting here.
>> Lucinda: Right. But that's what we're gonna do -- keep our heads down and wait. Waiting is the hardest thing there is. So we'll just wait and make sure that the provenance is safe in the safe, 'cause it's our insurance. Hmm?
>> Katie: I just wonder where Simon is right now.
>> Desi: [ chasing a man wearing a stocking mask ] Stop, thief, come back! He tried to break into the safe!
>> Katie: Safe? You are not getting away with this! [ Knocks the thief across the face with a tray ] Henry?! What the hell are you trying to do to us?!

[ Avanya - El Capitan Hotel Lounge ]
>> Katie: Don't even think about lying to me, you cheating little rodent!
>> Henry: Hey.
>> Katie: You were after that provenance, weren't you?
>> Henry: Yeah, okay, all right, fine, I heard you talking about it to Desi and how you stole it back and put it in the safe.
>> Katie: Oh, I'm gonna wring your scrawny little neck!
>> Henry: No, no, no, don't do that.
>> Katie: That provenance is the only leverage we have to get Simon and Joe back, do you understand that? Now, you're just thinking about yourself. We are talking lives here, Henry, not livelihood.
>> Henry: What do you mean, "get Simon back"?
>> Katie: Remember those pictures we found?
>> Henry: Yeah.
>> Katie: The ones with the diagram for plastic surgery? They were real. That look-alike Simon is not only a fake, he is a monster, Henry. His name is Donovon Curry. He knows where Simon and Joe are, and he wants the provenance, too. Ha, big surprise. So as long as we have it, he has a little bit of a reason to keep Simon and Joe and all of us alive, get it?
>> Lucinda: Katie, Katie, do you feel it necessary to share every detail with this swine? I'm gonna call the police!
>> Henry: No, no!
>> Lucinda: Desi, call the police!
>> Henry: Wait, wait.
>> Lucinda: You're gonna find out that police custody in Avanya is a special experience.
>> Henry: Katie, no, tell her this is a very bad idea. Lucinda, no!
>> Katie: You almost ruined everything, Henry! Your stupid little stunt could've cost us Rose's dad and put Simon in who knows what kind of danger. So you're gonna make it up to us.
>> Henry: How?
>> Katie: By making yourself useful.
>> Lucinda: Oh.

[ Avanya - El Capitan Hotel Lounge ]
>> Katie: Guess what, Henry? You're gonna find Simon and Joe for us.
>> Henry: How am I supposed to do that?
>> Katie: Well, first, you're gonna find Donovon Curry, and then you're gonna follow him, and hopefully that will lead you to them.
>> Henry: No, wait, wait, wait. You want me to follow the guy that you -- what'd you just say, he wouldn't hesitate to shred us like ribbons? No, no, no. No, I don't think so.
>> Lucinda: Wait a minute. Wait just a moment, my friend, you reprobate. You represent our last, best hope.
>> Henry: Well, I'm sorry, if you're so keen on following a walking cuisinart, Lucinda, do it yourself.
>> Lucinda: No, can't do it. Both Katie and I, he knows us by sight.
>> Henry: Then send Jersey Princess over there.
>> Lucinda: No -- Rose, too. Only you. Only you can do this undetected. And if he knows you, fine, you don some manly disguise.
>> Henry: Okay, remind me. Remind me, please, I forget -- what is in this scheme for me?
>> Lucinda: Have you lost your hearing, too? I'm giving you a "get out of jail" card free -- unless you want to go into police custody, if you prefer sadists and mice and gruel.
>> Henry: Okay, no, no. Lucinda, I've acquired a bit of an overhead while I've been down here. Some living expenses, perhaps?
>> Lucinda: This is no time for lengthy negotiations. I shall be most generous.
>> Henry: Okay, all right. Then -- sure, I'll follow this Donovon person, and hopefully his ribbon-shredding days are over.
>> Katie: Oh, come on, Henry, just stop complaining. Let's go find Desi. He'll find something to fit you, and you'll be perfectly safe.
>> Henry: Yeah.
>> Katie: I hope.
>> Lucinda: Not a dress, please.

[ Avanya - El Capitan Hotel Lounge ]
>> Lucinda: Hey, what are you supposed to be?
>> Henry: I don't know. I don't know.
>> Katie: You look fine.
>> Henry: I saw this on some G.I. Joe doll once.
>> Katie: It's perfect, Henry. You look fine. This country's crawling with soldiers. Donovon's less likely to notice you in -- that. Just be sure not to set off anything on that utility belt.
>> Henry: Are you sure there's no other way that I can help you two?
>> Lucinda: You had your orders, private! On your way! March, march! I had a good home and I left. Two, three, four. I had a good home and I left. I had a good home and I left. Right, left, right, left.

[ A Jail Cell in Avanya ]
>> "Simon": Ah. I'm here to spring one of your charges.
[ Speaking Spanish ]
>> Jailer: Think it's wise to have this one free and walking about?
>> "Simon": Not that one, genius. The old man. Come on, get him up! Chop, chop!
>> Jailer: Oye, you, hombre. Get over there and keep your hands up, where I can see them.
>> Simon: How's Katie? Is she all right?
>> Jailer: Oye -- silencio!
>> "Simon": Yeah. Oh, no, the cute little blonde's doing well. Thanks for asking. Very well, in fact. I left her lying there with a smile about this wide.
>> Simon: What did you do to her?
>> "Simon": To her? Nothing. With her? Well -- I guess you were wrong when you said that she would know it wasn't you in bed with her. That little sigh she makes? Ahh. It means more, right? Give me more, big boy.
>> Jailer: One more time -- one more time, and you're dead! Now stay there! Don't move!
>> "Simon": Come on. Get him up.
>> Jailer: Come on, viejo. Come on, let's go. Come on. Get up. Come on.
>> Simon: Hang in there, Joe. Be strong, mate. Just hang in there! Come on, just be decent enough to get the man to a hospital!
>> "Simon": Yeah, sure. I'll -- I'll put it on my to-do list.
>> Simon: Get him help, all right?! Just get the man some help!
>> Henry: Psst!
>> Simon: Go away.
>> Henry: Quit mopin' around, Simon!
>> Simon: Henry?
>> Henry: Yeah. Who else do you think would be crazy enough to don this outfit and then just walk into a third world prison?
>> Simon: I never in my life thought I'd be actually glad to see you.

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