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Friday, June 21, 2002

It's been two weeks since we last saw Henry getting off a plane with Rose in Mexico City.  Now he's in Avanya.  He walks into a hotel bar where Simon has been seen playing cards like a pro with some of the locals.  Henry goes up to the bartender and says, "Gin.  Martini.  Dirty.  Dry."  He looks and acts exhausted as he swats at mosquitoes.  He asks the bartender to include two fingers of quinine, he doesn't want to get malaria!  He tells the bartender he's looking for an American couple.  The man is a "college football quarterback type" and the woman is from Jersey, "deep Joisey, need I say more?"  The bartender says he hasn't seen them, and Henry says good.  He takes a drink and grabs the bartender's hand, telling him, "This is excellent.  You mix a great drink, Amigo!"  His voice breaking as if he's about to cry!  He gives the bartender a few coins and tells him "Muchas gracias," but the bartender is not impressed.  Henry asks the bartender if he knows which room Mr. Cooley is staying in.  Suddenly Simon appears behind him and tells him he looks sharp.  He says Cooley is gone, he's in charge now.  And he looks like he means it!

Henry nervously takes another drink of his martini and asks Simon, "What brings you to this wild and wooly part of the world?"  He asks him if he's on be a "walkabout."  Simon grabs Henry, pulls him across the bar, and tells him to stop playing games.  Neither of them is on vacation.  Henry tries to tell Simon that he is, he can't resist "the siren call of the tropics."  He asks if Katie is there.  Simon tells Henry not to treat him like an idiot, and asks about Rose and Paul.  "Two of Oakdale's finest citizens," comments Henry.  Simon demands to know where they are.  Henry admits that he and Rose took a "puddle jumper" to the island and landed at some "God-forsaken airport," then hitched a ride into town.  Paul caught up with them and Henry decided to disappear.  He hasn't seen them since and doesn't know where they are.

Simon asks Henry, "Where's the thing?"  The paper that proves the Rose of Sharon diamond is legit.  "Oh, the provenance?" says Henry.  He claims he doesn't know where that is.  Simon pats him down and finds a piece of paper in his shirt pocket.  Henry says it's just his grocery list, but Simon sees it really is the provenance.  Simon decides to hold onto it until they find Rose and Paul.  Henry tells him it's no good without the diamond, and Cooley has that.  Simon says that Cooley had to leave in a hurry and didn't have time to take the diamond with him.  Henry asks if the diamond is still here in the hotel.  Simon tells him that he's the one asking the questions.  Henry asks how he knows what happened to Cooley.  Simon says that sounds like another questions, and tells him he better get out.  Simon's senorita sidles up to him and Henry tells him to be careful, "things around here have a tendency to bite, or sting.  Ma'am."  He leaves the bar, and Simon soon follows with the money he won playing cards.

Meanwhile, back in Oakdale, Katie receives a telegram from Simon saying he's in trouble.  Lucinda decides to go to Avanya to handle this herself, and Katie convinces her to let her come with.

Today’s episode was directed by Scott McKinsey and written by Royal Miller.

Transcripts from ATWTweekly

[ Avanya - El Capitan Hotel ]
[ Simon is seated at a poker game with a group of locals ]
>> "Simon": As they say in the classics -- read 'em and weep, muchachos. Yeah. So -- anyone else wanna try and win their money back? 'Cause I could go all night. Well, well, well. You boys play a mean game of poker. So what say we mix it up a bit? Seven-card stud. Table stakes. Nothing wild -- apart from this lovely young lady, of course.
>> Player #2: You don't look as lucky as you did before, my friend. I'm in.
>> "Simon": You're a brave man. Your money's gonna be safe with me.
>> Player #3: Talk less and play more, mister. And don't get too cocky.
>> "Simon": Oh, come on, fellas. I'm just happy to be alive. Just happy to be alive.
>> Player #4: That can change quickly in Avanya.
>> "Simon": So I've heard. So I've heard.
>> Player #1: What is your business in town, Mr. Frasier?
>> "Simon": Apart from enjoying the hospitality of the local townsfolk? I'm here to find one of the most fantastic diamonds in the world.
>> Woman: I love diamonds.
[ Faux Simon laughing ]
>> "Simon": So I see, sweetie. So I see. But, hey, I tell you what -- don't hold your breath. 'Cause this one is all mine.

[ Avanya - El Capitan Hotel ]
>> Henry: [ walks up to the bar ] Gin martini, dirty and dry. Can I get a cup of two fingers of quinine, too, while you're at it, will you? I'm not getting out of this festering bog with a nice case of malaria. Say, my good man, I'm looking for some old friends of mine -- a nice young couple.
>> Bartender: Americano?
>> Henry: Yes, very much so. The -- the man's a sort of college football quarterback-type, you know? The woman is -- is from New Jersey -- deep Joisey. Need I say more?
>> Bartender: I haven't seen them, no.
>> Henry: Good. This is excellent. You -- you mix a great drink, amigo.
>> Bartender: Muchas gracias, amigo.
>> Henry: Listen, I'm -- I'm also looking for a Mr. Cooley -- Cooley. I don't know if you know which room he's staying in, possibly?
>> "Simon": Well, you do look shocked there, Henry. I've got something to tell you. Cooley's gone. Which means I'm in charge now, mate.

[ Avanya - El Capitan Hotel ]
>> Henry: Simon? What's happening? Hey, what -- what brings you to this wild and woolly part of the world? Wait, I read something about you Aussies. Now, don't you do that -- what's that called? It's a walkabout, isn't it? Is that what this?
>> "Simon": Are we really going to play it that way, Henry? Are we? Are we? I didn't think so. Now, I'm not here on vacation, and neither are you.
>> Henry: Funny thing is -- I am on vacation. And boy, oh, boy, what a bad idea. You know, I thought I'd learned my lesson after I'd been -- that time on the island with your lovely missus. But I just -- I can't -- can't resist the siren call of the tropics. So, speaking of the lovely missus, is Katie here?
>> "Simon": Henry? Henry, Henry -- now listen up. I'm only going to say this once. Don't treat me like an idiot. Are we clear?
>> Henry: Oh, sure. Sure.
>> "Simon": Good, good. Now, Rose D'Angelo and Paul Ryan?
>> Henry: Some of Oakdale's finest citizens.
>> "Simon": Where are they?
>> Henry: Oh, you really know a lot, don't you?
>> "Simon": I know everything.
>> Henry: That's a lot. That's a lot. Rose and I, we took some puddle jumper, and we landed in some godforsaken airport that's cut right out of the jungle. I mean, it was like a Quonset hut and an outhouse. I mean, they didn't even have like a rental car place.
>> "Simon": Whatever. Whatever, Henry. How did you end up here in the city?
>> Henry: We hitchhiked. Can you believe that? And then Paul caught up to us. And I decided it wasn't a good idea to stick around. So I disappeared at the first possible moment. But, listen, I don't know where they are, okay? So don't ask me.
>> "Simon": Fine. Fine. Where's the thing?
>> Henry: The thing? The thing?
>> "Simon": The paper. The document that you blackmailed Rose to get. The one that proves the Rose of Sharon diamond is legit.
>> Henry: Oh -- oh, the provenance? Listen, I don't know where that is. I believe that's -- that's my grocery list. Yeah, I didn't think so.
>> "Simon": Well, well, well, well. I think I might just have to hold onto this until we find Rose and Paul.
>> Henry: You know what? That thing is useless without the diamond.
>> "Simon": Ah, ah, ah-ah. Now we're talking. That was my next question.
>> Henry: Cooley has it. He didn't think it was a very good idea for us to have the rock and the provenance in the same place.
>> "Simon": Well, you see, Mr. Cooley had to leave the hotel in a bit of a rush. I don't think he had time to take the stone with him.
>> Henry: I doubt that very much. Hey, are you saying -- are you saying the diamond's still here?
>> "Simon": Shh, shh, shh. I'm the one asking the questions tonight, Henry.
>> Henry: How do you know what may or may not have happened to Cooley?
>> "Simon": Now, listen, that sounds like another question. You've finished your drink. Why don't you be smart for once and get the hell out of here before you run out of options?
>> Henry: Some sage advice.
>> Woman: Where'd you go? I was worried.
>> Henry: Good. Be careful, Simon. Things around here have a tendency to bite or sting. Ma'am.[ Henry leaves]
>> Woman: I'm thirsty.
>> "Simon": Well, pleased to meet you, thirsty. I'm busy. [ gathers his poker winnings ] Enjoy, boys.

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