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Wednesday, June 18, 2008 Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by Richard Culliton.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Bonnie: Does Vienna know that you are moonlighting? Henry: No. I came down here to get a little -- little libation, and Carly asked me to fill in until she could get back. Uh, anyway, I'm being paid by Mr. Martini. Would you care to join me? Bonnie: Actually, you know, I'm kind of in a champagne mood. Henry: Really? Bonnie: Mm-hmm. Henry: Well, all right. You celebrating something? Bonnie: I don't know, Henry. You should be the one celebrating. Henry: Why is that? Do I have a chance in hell of getting a piece of Gray Gerard's estate? Bonnie: How is this for a piece? Henry: Maybe this stuff is going to my head, but that says, "pay to the order of" -- that's a lot of zeroes. Bonnie: Mm-hmm. Henry: That's got my name on it. Bonnie: Mm-hmm. Henry: Wow! Bonnie: It's all yours, baby. So, how are you gonna spend these big bucks, huh? Henry: Bonnie, let me count the ways. Cheers. Bonnie: Cheers. Henry: Bonnie, I can't believe this. This is like winning the lottery. This is legal, isn't it? Bonnie: Legal enough. See, I copied some of Greenberg's files before he fired me. I've come to find out he was making a lot of shady deals with the late Gray Gerard. And if some of those deals came to light, he would be disbarred. Henry: So I can cash this and not end up in handcuffs? Bonnie: Oh, Henry, come on. I am your lawyer. It is my job -- my duty -- to keep you out of trouble. Henry: Rich and out of trouble. That I can do. Mwah! Bonnie: Exactly. I said I wouldn't go to the D.A. About Greenberg's indiscretions, and he makes you financial consultant to the estate. Thus the sizable, certified check -- excluding my commission, thank you very much. Henry: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Bonnie: And everything else is happily ever after. Henry: You can say that again. Oh, I'm gonna call Vienna and let her know about this. She should come down here and celebrate. Bonnie: Oh, you know, I don't think that would be a good idea. I don't think Vienna would appreciate this sudden windfall, courtesy of her ex-lover. Henry: No, no, no, no, no. We're all past that. She's gonna love this. This is an upgrade in lifestyle. This is easy street 2.0. My liebchen will love this. Carly: Hey, Henry. Thanks for watching the place for me. Unfortunately, I -- I don't have the money to pay you right now. Henry: That's all right, Carly. Everybody, drinks are on me tonight! Carly: Henry, are you sure you can afford that? Henry: Yeah, I'm sure I can afford that. You know why, Carly? 'Cause I'm now officially filthy rich.
Carly: Well, Henry, that really is terrific news. You deserve to celebrate. So to Henry. Henry: To -- Carly: Mm! Henry: What the hell is that, Carly? Carly: Oh, no. Oh, I mixed up the bottles again. Henry, I'm sorry. Here, let me start again. Henry: No, no, no, no, no! You know what, sweetheart? If you plan to get, like, the hip cocktail crowd in here, you shouldn't fill up their drinks with ammonia. You know, Carly, what you need around here -- is me. Carly: I'm not sure I follow. Henry: Well, you remember how I, uh, pretended to buy this place so that we could turn up the heat -- ah -- on your old friend, kit? Carly: Yes, and that didn't work out for either one of us, as I recall. Henry: Right. What if we tried it this time for real? Thinking, uh, what if you and I went into business together at metro, equal partners? We'd make a great team.
Henry: With my mixology and your curve-ology, we're an unbeatable combo. Carly: Curve-ology? Did you actually just say that? Henry: Look, I'm not just talking about your shimmy and my shake here, all right? I mean, I -- I'm loaded now, and this place could use an infusion of cash. No more using duct tape to, uh, take care of the broken water pipes. You can actually hire a real plumber. Plus, you don't have to stay here till closing every night. You can actually go home and talk to the kids. How about that? Carly: Oh, it does sound tempting. Henry: And you wouldn't be getting just me. You'd also be getting Vienna as well, and she could bring in a very classy clientele, let me tell you what, with euros to burn. Carly: Uh-huh. And is she on board with this idea? Henry: Yeah. I haven't pitched it to her yet, but you know what? I'm sure she would love the idea. Carly: Don't bother, Henry. I just -- I'm not sure that I need a partner right now. Sorry.
Henry: Liebchen, my darling, I am so glad you're here. I was gonna call you. Vienna: I've been looking everywhere for you, Henry, and where do I find you? Drinking and carousing with this man-eating bimbo? Henry: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, no. We said we were all gonna get along, remember, until we got a piece of Gray Gerard's estate. Right, right? And that paid off. You know why? Because Bonnie took out the big guns and brought home the bacon, and she took Mr. Greenberg to the cleaners. Vienna: What? Am I supposed to be impressed? Henry: Yeah, yeah. I -- you will be when you see this certified check. Mega-rich "r" us. Thank you you to Ms. Mckechnie. Vienna: But don't you understand, Henry? This -- this is dirty money. Henry: I don't mind being filthy rich. Do you?
Henry: Here we are. Nothing but the good bubbly. We can afford it morning, noon, and night. Vienna: No, thanks. Bonnie: I really don't know how you're gonna pull this one off, Henry. Henry: Don't worry, Bonnie. My little wiener schnitzel will come around. Uh -- Bonnie: Good luck with that. Henry: Okay. Vienna: Thought she'd never leave. Henry: Sweetheart, we have Bonnie to thank for putting us in the upper-income bracket. Vienna: I don't care about the money, Henry. All I care about is you, pepper, and the diner. Henry: Darling, we don't have to give that up. I just -- I'm asking you to -- to think bigger, okay? Look, how would you like to be part-owner of all of this? Vienna: Metro? Henry: Mm-hmm. Vienna: But it belongs to Carly. Henry: Yeah, and I put in an offer to be equal partners. Think about it, sweetheart. Glam parties, the velvet ropes, celebrities. I -- I just need more glitz and less shvitz. You know what I'm saying? And all we have to do is get Carly to say yeah. Vienna: Oh, so she said no to this plan. Henry: Yeah, she said no to that plan, but, uh, I think she'll say yes if we just use our patented charm offensive. Vienna: I think Carly was right to refuse. And my answer is also no.
Henry: Wouldn't you rather be here, serving cosmos and tripping the light fantastic rather than grilling greasy burgers? Vienna: I could never give up the diner. Al's is my baby. There's no deal, Henry, and that's no with a big "n," as in, "no, no, no, never."
Henry: Well, if it isn't my future partner. Carly: Oh, Henry, not now, okay? Listen, I -- I, uh, need you to do another favor for me. Henry: Sure. Carly: Do you think you could watch the place for a little bit longer? I need to get out of here. Henry: Absolutely, absolutely! I'm nothing if not available. Carly: That's good to know. Henry: Yeah. You see? We're almost in business. Vienna: You are not even close. Henry: Honey, I was born with a cocktail shaker instead of a rattle. Carly has to see that she can't mix it up without Henry. Vienna: Ah.
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