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Monday, June 4, 2007 Brad is depressed that Katie is with his brother, so Henry takes him to Yo's to cheer him up. Today’s episode was directed by Sonia Blangiardo and written by Judy Tate.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: Rejected! Brad: Story of my life. Henry: What? What is this? This is not the Bradster I've come to know and love. Or at least to know anyway. Are you down? Brad: Who, me? No, never. What do you want? Henry: I'm just, I'm looking for Katie. I was just worried about her. Brad: Well, no need. She's great. She's just fine and dandy. Henry: Really? Really, 'cause the last time you and I talked, you, the self-proclaimed expert on Katie, told me that she would be in a puddle because Jack was getting back with Carly. Brad: Yeah, well thanks to advice from your non-wife, Katie fought for her man. Henry: She actually won? Brad: She's out on a date with my super-cop brother, so judge for yourself. Henry: That's great! That's great. Then I have nothing to worry about, I guess. Brad: Yeah, I guess so -- I mean, if you're a fan of those two. Henry: Come on, Brad, you win some, you lose some. Brad: Who said I lost anything? Henry: I don't know, but something's got your chin on the floor. Brad: I'm just -- I'm just worried about a friend, that's all. Henry: Is that friend blonde, and five two, and have a great sense of humor? Brad: I don't know what you're talking about. Henry: Wow. That is definitely Katie-itis, you've got right there. I know the symptoms. Why don't you let doctor Henry help?
Brad: I don't want to be here. Henry: No, no, no. Brad, we're here to cheer you up, man. Come on. Brad: Oh, man. Look, I don't want to shoot pool, throw darts or arm-wrestle some drunk guy with a plaid shirt and mullet. Henry: Those are your three favorites, Brad. You really must be down. Come on, have a seat. We'll have a couple of beers. We'll talk, what do you say? Brad: You talk. I'm going to drown myself in ale. Two. Henry: Fine, fine, fine, fine. Why don't you take my advice? Brad: I'm going to take advice from the guy who couldn't figure out what to do with the hottest sausage this side of Sweden? Come on. Henry: Yeah, um -- well, I did finally figure it out, and since now I have the sausage, and you are sausage-less, I think maybe you should listen. Brad: I've never been this way. What happened to me? Henry: Katie. Katie happened to you, my man. She's a very special kind of woman. She gets right underneath your skin, and then she teases the heart right out of you. Brad: But it's not like we had anything really, like, you know, going on. But there was a lot of potential. Henry: You had a lot of potential with Vienna, too. Brad: Ah, Vienna. Henry: Is all mine. Find yourself another woman. Brad: Like I haven't tried? You don't have to rub it in. I know I am on a losing streak. Henry: No, you just, you need to get back up on the horse, Brad. Brad: I wasn't on the horse, Henry. That's the problem. Henry: Okay, bad analogy, all right. But you need to get back in the race. Brad: Why? Henry: Why? Brad: Why do you care? Henry: Why? For the thrill. For the sport, man. For the chase! Look, you know, I'm pretty savvy at the track, right? Brad: So you've said. Henry: Yes, yes. And even though I usually pick a winner, every now and then, I go into some unexpected losing streak. Do you know what? I don't let it get me down. I look out on that field and I see that there's just another filly, a whole bunch of other fillies to choose from. Look around you, man, they're all over the place. Brad: Ugh. Henry: Well, maybe she's not here, right now. But she's out there somewhere. You're going to get through this, buddy. Brad: How can you be so sure? Henry: Look at me. I'm living proof of life after Katie. You can do this!
Henry: You may be a little burned, a little gun-shy even. Anyway, look. The point is you've still got the mojo down there, man. You need to get that going again. Brad: And you're going to tell me how to do it? Henry: Yes, I am. I want you to -- the next hottie that walks though that door over there, I want you to say to yourself, "she's mine." Brad: She's mine? She's mine? That's going to do it? Henry: It might if you had a little bit of enthusiasm behind it. You need to sell it to yourself before you can sell it to everybody else, Brad. Brad: She's mine. Henry: Just one more time, with feeling this time, please. Brad: She's mine! Henry: Oh, man! That's it! Brad: Yeah? Yeah? Henry: That's the spirit, right there. You keep talking like that and doubts will be removed. I'm getting to see the new you here. Okay, the chick magnet that you were when you got back into town. Brad: Yeah, Henry, I had it going on. Henry: Yes, you did. Brad: But then I lost it. What happened? Henry: I don't -- I don't -- this is no time for introspection. Look around you. Nobody wants deep. Not tonight. They want the fun, confident, babe-whisperer that you've always been. Brad: Babe-whisperer? I like that. Maybe you're right. Maybe I just need to get my mojo back. Henry: Now you're talking. Brad: I know when I lost it! Henry: Then you're digressing, Brad. Brad: I was doing the TV show. It happened at "Oakdale Now" with Katie. She was subtly planting the seeds of my mojo's destruction. Henry: Okay, let's not play the blame game. Brad: No, she kept putting me down -- Henry: Stay focused, Brad. Brad: Every chance she got, just to make sure I wouldn't outshine her. But I'm onto her now. Henry: Okay. Okay, be that as it may, this crisis is over and you're going to be your old self in no time. Yeah? Brad: Yeah, you know what? Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm a sexy guy. You know what I mean? Henry: Absolutely. Brad: I'm a sexy guy. I've got my mojo working! Henry: Now that's what I'm talking about! That is what I'm talking about! Now, if you'd excuse me, I've got to get home to my sexy little Danish. Brad: I thought she was from Sweden? Henry: She is. It's just -- never mind.
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