Friday, June 1, 2001
We haven’t
seen Katie and Henry in a week, not since they began their descent to the
island. But
apparently they landed, and destroyed their plane in the process.
Ever optimistic Katie believes her Simon will come for her, but Henry is
a little more realistic about the situation.
Katie comes through
the trees onto the beach where Simon and Lily were 
stranded
last year, followed by Henry who is lugging the trunk.
“Hurry up!” she says. “Yes,
bwana,” answers Henry, panting. “This
is it,” declares Katie. “Yeah.
Oh, yeah? Well, do you mind
if I leave the piano till morning? It
looks so lovely sitting there in the sand with waves gently lapping at its
carved legs,” jokes Henry. Katie
apparently doesn’t get this reference to the movie The Piano, and asks,
“What on earth are you talking about, Henry?
Oh, can you believe this is
really it?!” “Katie, it's been
‘it’ all day. It's been
‘it’ since we started this hike. All
right? It's been beach and rocks
and sand. This is it, nothing,”
complains Henry. But Katie is
certain. “This spot -- this right
here -- this is exactly where Simon and Lily stayed.
I can't believe we found it. It's
exactly the way he described it. The
cave must be right over there. And
those rocks out there -- that's exactly where his sister went down with the
diamond.” “Ouch.
No wonder she didn't make it. It's
craggier than I thought,” observes Henry. “The diamond is out there, Henry,” says Katie excitedly.
“It's just sitting there, waiting for us to pluck it up.
All right, break out the scuba gear.”
“Katie, it's dark,” says Henry.
“So what?” asks the determined Mrs. Frasier.
“We already wasted an entire day.
If you hadn't slept so late, we could have gotten here hours ago.”
“Well, I'm sorry, but plane wrecks -- they tend to take their toll on
me,” says Henry sarcastically. “Exactly.
All the reason more to get started.
Simon's not gonna stay in Oakdale forever, and we have to find that
diamond before he leaves. Now, I
know I've got some flippers in your size.”
Katie begins to dig in the trunk. “Will
you just tune in to the station with the news, please?” says Henry, trying to
get her to face reality. 
“Let's
go,” says Katie. “Listen.
If we find that diamond -- okay -- it is meaningless.
It is not gonna bring Simon back for you,” says Henry.
“Oh, ye of little faith.” “It
is not going to bring him back because you're never going to see him again,”
says Henry. “Thanks to your
fearless landing, our plane is in pieces on the other side of the island.”
Katie seems unconcerned. “So
what? We made it out alive, didn't
we? Don't you know how to look at
the upside of things?” “What?
Hey, the upside? Katie -- Ka - why isn't this processing with you, huh?”
He tries explaining it in more simple language.
“Me, Gilligan. You, Mary
Ann. We're stranded.”
Henry moans and
holds his head. “What's really
going on with you, Henry?” asks Katie. “Oh,
I -- I don't know, Katie, a plane wreck, a cracked skull. I'm stranded on a deserted island with Ginger.
You know, you're right. There
must be something deeper gnawing at me,” says Henry sarcastically.
“Okay,” says Katie, giving in. “Thank
you again. Thank you for putting
yourself in
front of me when the plane went down. Thank
you, Henwy, for endurwing that painfuw wittle boo-boo.”
Henry pushes her away, saying, “I -- I know. I should have just left
you and saved something more valuable, like my martini olives.”
“Oh, would you relax? You
know I always have a backup plan?” says Katie confidently.
“Yeah -- yeah, Katie -- yeah, I'm always your backup plan, you know? And this time, your backup is as out of luck as you are.
I mean -- and I'm the only one that realizes it,” answers Henry.
“Oh, would you stop being such a worrywart?
Do 
you
remember the letter that I left for Simon, ‘gone to find your diamond?’
As soon as he realizes that I've been gone for so long, he's gonna come
and rescue us. Oh, I'm sure he's
worried sick already.” Little does she know Simon has troubles of his own, getting
himself thrown in jail to deliver a message from Craig to Gabe.
And trying to talk his way out of it with Katie’s sister!
“Your so-called
‘husband’ doesn't give a damn about you, Katie,” says Henry realistically.
“It doesn't take a nuclear physicist to figure that out.
When he finds that letter, he's going to throw it away.
And then, he's going to buy himself a drink to celebrate and congratulate
himself for finally getting rid of you, which, by the way, is exactly what I'd
like right now. Where's that
gin?” “You'll eat your words,
Henry. You will,” declares Katie.
“I'm going to have to eat something, Katie, since you didn't pack any
food,” comments Henry. “Well,
maybe we'll just have to fend for ourselves.
Lucky for you, I saw every episode of Survivor,” reassures
Katie. “Yes, so you've told me.
And Richard Hatch is my personal hero, but since we don't have anyone to
form an alliance with here, I can't vote you off the island,” says Henry.
“True. So I think it's
about time that we choose a leader,” says Katie.
“I choose that buzzard circling overhead,” votes Henry.
“I choose me,” votes Katie. “What
qualifies you to be leader, Ginger?” asks Henry.
“Well, I was a girl scout for almost a year,” she answers. “Almost a year? Wow.
What happened, huh? After six
months, did the troop leader have to be committed?” asks Henry. “I was there long enough to gain a few badges -- one for
learning how to build a fire, one for building a hut with sticks and stuff and
one for semaphore,” says Katie proudly. “Semaphore?!
Where's that crate of orange flags that washed up on the shore with us? Come on, now. Let's
just go practice!” teases Henry. “And
what can you do, smarty-pants?” asks Katie.
“I can build a pyramid out of olive pits that would rival the ancient
wonders of Egypt,” brags Henry. “So
that would be nothing, no skills, nada. I'm
leader,” declares Katie. “Katie,
what difference does it make who the leader is?!” asks Henry.
“We are stranded, hello, on a deserted island with a heretofore unknown
amount of beasties. We got a bag
full of vending machine goodies for food, one canteen of water and a very
limited supply of martini ingredients. What
difference does it make who's in charge?”
“None, I guess. So that
settles it. I'm in charge,” says
Katie.
“Okay.
Oh, wise leader, oh, Girl Scout extraordinaire, what job do you have for
me? Would you like me to bake some
peanut butter cookies and sell them to the iguanas?” asks Henry.
“Okay. No, why don't you
go take a look for the cave that Simon told me about -- it should be right over
there -- and get it ready for us to sleep tonight, all right?” orders leader
Katie. “Okay, I'll put on some
fresh linens and rev up the AC. Would
you like a mint on your pillow?” “I'll
look for sticks for the fire,” says Katie.
Henry begins to walk 
away
and then pauses to ask, “Did Simon say something about bats in that cave?”
“Just find the cave, Henry!” says Katie.
Henry walks off to find the cave, muttering in a Katie-like voice,
“Just find the cave, Henry! Just
find the cave, Henry!" Katie
gets her knife and begins to gather sticks.
“All right. We got
everything we need here,” she says to herself.
“Twigs, sticks, nice loggy part.”
She tries to cut off a piece of the stick with the knife, and doesn’t
have much luck. “Okay. This is
a little harder than I thought. One
good whack ought to do it.” One
good whack and the knife ends up in the ocean!
Katie looks around to make sure Henry isn’t there, and sighs, “Oh,
thank you, Henry, for not seeing that.”
Katie is trying to
make fire by twirling a stick on a board. “Come
on, light.” Henry approaches and
Katie says, “Oh, I don't need any more bad news,
Henry. Please tell me that you
found that cave.” “Yeah, I
found it, all right, little miss fire-starter.
It would make a very cozy home -- if we were fish,” says Henry. “What are you talking about?” asks Katie.
“It's flooded, Katie. It's
full of water and living sushi.” “What?
No, that's impossible,” insists Katie.
“Simon and Lily stayed there. It's
supposed to have a hot spring tub and a bed and a table and plates made of
gourds.” “Yeah, well, maybe I
should have called ahead and made reservations. The fish could have told us it was high tide,” says Henry.
“How was I supposed to know that it floods here?” asks Katie
defensively. 
She
tries to blame Henry, “If you wouldn't have slept so late, we would have
gotten an earlier start. There
would have been sunlight, and we could have found another cave.” “I did not sleep late, pontoon girl! I was unconscious!” exclaims Henry. “Oh, whatever!” responds Katie callously.
“Listen, you're the self-appointed little scout leader here.
Why don't you tell me what the backup plan is for today?” asks Henry. “I guess we'll have to build a lean-to or something,”
offers Katie. “It's getting
chilly, so in the meantime, we've got to get a fire.”
Henry pretends to warm his hands in front of the non-existent fire,
saying, “That's so nice, Katie. That's
so warm and cozy.” “Shut up,
Henry!”
Katie is continuing to work on the fire, while Henry sits
back and reads the paper. “Look
at all these reality shows, Katie. I
should have brought a video camera along. This
would have been a ratings blockbuster.” “I
am so sick of your cynical, negative attitude, Henry,” says Katie impatiently.
“Why don't you try and get a spark?”
“All right,” agrees Henry, and begins to wax philosophical.
“Fire -- the greatest discovery of our species, the single element that
separates man from ape. Fire -- the
quest for which has tribe against tribe, brother against brother.”
“Can it, and get some smoke going,” 
interrupts
Katie. “Watch, Peretti, as the
master creates fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire.”
Henry pulls a lighter out of his pocket and starts the fire.
“Whoa-oa-oa, ooh. O-o-o-o-o-oh. O-o-o-oh.”
He laughs at the angry look on her face and says, “You know, Katie, why
don't you forget about the fire? I'm
warmer just knowing that you're in charge.”
Katie grabs the paper out of his hands and begins to crumple it up to
feed the fire. “You want to get
even warmer, Henry?” she asks. “Go
to hell.” After she puts all the
paper on the fire she yells triumphantly, “Ha-ha!
Fire!”
Today’s episode was directed by Larry Carpenter and
written by Judy Tate.
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