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Thursday, May 14, 2009 Henry and Vienna do a little baby shopping, which depresses Katie even more when she sees them. As they're talking about it at Metro, a man overhears him and claims to be a lawyer who handles private adoptions. Grasping at that straw, Henry tells Brad about the opportunity, and Brad convinces Katie to meet with the lawyer. The lawyer tells them he will set up a meeting with a mother about to give birth, if they give him $10,000.
Today’s episode was directed by Habib Azar and written by Cheryl L. Davis.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Vienna: Oh, my god, I never thought I would say this, but I'm actually tired of shopping. Henry: What? When there are still so many stores with baby stuff in them? Come on! Bite your tongue, woman. Vienna: It's adorable to see how excited you are about all of this, but I barely saw any of the things, you were throwing them in the bag. Henry: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, look, look. I have this cute little onesie. Vienna: Oh, my god, "onesie." That's the cutest little word. Henry: Yeah, wait till you see it on our munchkin. That's gonna be cute. And I have this one that's got a deck of cards on it. Vienna: Are you teaching our baby to gamble already? Henry: [ Henry laughs ] No, sweetheart. It says "I have all the hearts." Vienna: Oh, my god. That is so cute. Oh, my god, this sweater is divine. Henry: And I've got a little hat in here. This has got a matching top and bottom. Vienna: Okay, let's stop. Henry: You've got to admit this is the height of baby couture! Vienna: It's enough. Henry: What? Hey. Hey, Katie. Vienna: Hey, Katie. Brad: Come on. Let's go. Henry: We're just getting some new outfits for the staff at metro. Katie: Oh, come on, Henry. Knock it off. I saw the baby clothes. Don't lie to me again. It doesn't make me feel better.
Henry: Katie, I'm so sorry. Vienna: Katie, we never meant to upset you. Brad: We don't want any apologies, all right? We don't want anything from you. Not anymore. Come on. Let's go. Come on. Come on.
Henry: Vienna, can I get some more cocktail napkins? I'm almost out over here. Earth to Vienna. Vienna: What? Henry: Hey, cocktail napkins. Vienna: Oh, I'm sorry. Henry: Still thinking about Katie, huh? Vienna: The tears in her eyes when she saw us looking at the baby clothes -- I can't bear it. Henry: I know, I can't, either. Vienna: My heart goes out to her. If I knew that I couldn't get pregnant -- Henry: I'm worried about her, okay? When did wanting to be a mother turn into some obsession? Vienna: No, wanting a baby is not an obsession. It's perfectly normal. And besides, it's our fault that she's in this position. I just -- I just wish there was something we could do. Henry: I know, sweetie, I do, too. I'm afraid it's out of our hands now. Lawyer: Pardon me for listening, but I think I can help.
Henry: You really handle private adoptions? Vienna: Okay, this client of yours who is looking for someone to adopt her baby, what is she like? Lawyer: The mother's young and healthy. Dad's an ivy leaguer. Henry: This could be the answer.
Vienna: Calm down, Henry. Henry: No, no, no, no, no. This is perfect. A guy walks into our bar with the answer to all our problems? Vienna: Yeah, we don't even know if Katie and Brad are willing to adopt. Henry: She wants a baby more than anything else on earth. Vienna: No, she wanted our baby, not just any baby. Henry: Yeah, I know, I know that. But they'll have access to all the medical records, and they can make sure the mother is taking care of herself and that the baby is healthy. Vienna: Do you think this guy's for real? Henry: He's drinking our best scotch. Tell me you don't think this is the perfect solution. Vienna: It doesn't matter what we think. This is up to Brad and Katie, and right now, they don't even want to see us on the street, let alone take advice from us. Henry: This is our chance to make things right. Vienna: Okay, we've raised Katie's hopes and disappointed her more than once. She's not even gonna want to listen to us. Henry: All right, all right. I'll talk to Brad first, see what he thinks. Vienna: Yeah, that's if he'll want to talk to you. Henry: Baby, I can be very persuasive. As long as I stay out of range of his fists. Vienna: [ Vienna sighs ] Henry, are you sure this is right? Henry: For Katie's sake, I have to try.
[ Knock on door ] Henry: Hey, there, Brad! Hey, no, wait! You're supposed to stop shutting the door when my foot's in there, Brad. Brad: You're supposed to be smart enough not to stick your foot in the door. Henry: This will only take a minute. Brad: You're not getting it. Henry: It's about Katie! I think I might have an answer to her problems. I had a secret.
Henry: Ow. Brad: Talk fast, talk fast. Henry: I will, as soon as I get the feeling back in my toes. Brad: Unless you want to lose the feeling in your entire body, you're gonna start talking now. Henry: Okay. Brad: You didn't change your mind about the baby again. I mean, if you think -- if you think you're gonna jerk Katie and I around again, I mean, you can get the hell out of here right now. Henry: Brad, no, no, of course not. Listen to me. Listen to me. I found a lawyer who specializes in private adoptions. Brad: But we're already on the list at all the top agencies. Henry: I know, but that takes a long time. He's got a pregnant client who is ready, willing, and able to give up her child now. Brad: Who is she? Henry: I don't know. I didn't get a name. But here's the lawyer's number. And he says it's everything you could want in a birth mother. Brad: Does he know anything about the father? Because there's no way that Katie and I can handle any more nasty surprises. Henry: He didn't go into details, but apparently the father graduated from Harvard. Brad: Harvard? Really? Henry: Brad, don't even worry about that. Nurture always trumps nature, yeah? All you have to do is give the kid a steady supply of sports and never let him near a book, and you'll be fine. Brad: Okay, well, how pregnant is she? Henry: Apparently she's ready to pop. That's why we need to move on this pretty fast. I mean, if Katie could get a baby, that'd be the best thing in the world for her right now. Henry: Yeah, that's why you should talk to her about it today. Brad: I don't know. I don't know. Henry: Well, call Mr. Quick, all right? A phone call can't hurt. Brad: At this point, I mean, I'm willing to try anything. Henry: Yeah. Brad: You know what, I'm not saying "thank you," all right, but if this pans out -- Henry: You're welcome.
Vienna: I just hope it goes well with the lawyer, Brad, and Katie. Henry: I know. What a coincidence that he showed up at metro just the right time. Vienna: No. No, it wasn't a coincidence. Henry: Oh, no. No, not another Shmeglitz. Vienna: No, no, no, no. But I felt so terrible about disappointing Brad and Katie, I was praying for something to happen so we could make it up to them. And then he showed up here. There it is, the answer to my prayers. Henry: He was that, wasn't he? Vienna: Wouldn't it be wonderful if Katie and I could have babies at the same time? Our kids could be at the same playground and the same kindergarten class. Henry: Yeah, and maybe they can bring us all back together again.
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