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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Katie and Henry find Vienna and Brad in what appears to be a compromising position.  But Brad is just smearing cold remedy on her chest because she's sick.  Both couples argue, and Vienna slips on some of the goo and falls down.  She's OK but Henry takes her to the hospital just to be safe, where Brad and Henry have a conversation.

Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by David A. Levinson.

 

Transcripts from TVMegasite  

Katie: Hey.

Henry: Hey! Hey, there's my roomie. You just missed the morning rush. What can I get you?

Katie: Oh, uh, coffee and a croissant to go, please.

Henry: Okay. You off to the studio?

Katie: Yes, a mountain of paperwork awaits me.

Henry: Ah, the life of a TV personality. So many headshots to sign, so little time.

Katie: Remember when that was all I ever wanted?

Henry: Remember? You're looking at the guy who went to some incredible -- not to mention illegal -- lengths to make that happen for you.

Katie: Yes you did, didn't you?

Henry: Mm-hmm.

Katie: Now all I want is to be a mom, and you're helping me with that, too.

Henry: I don't know if "helping" is really the right word.

Katie: Yes, it is. You are the best, and you know it. Where's Vienna? In the back? I want to invite her for lunch today.

Henry: Uh, no, she's not, actually. She's at home.

Katie: She is? I didn't see her before I left.

Henry: Well, she's feeling a little under the weather, so I let her sleep in.

Katie: She's not feeling well?

Henry: No, it's nothing. It's just a little cold.

Katie: Vienna has a cold?

Henry: Now, it's a couple of sniffles, a sneeze or two. That's it.

Katie: Well, why didn't you say anything before you left? Brad and I are right down the hall. You could knock on the door and tell us she was sick.

Henry: She's not sick. It's a runny nose. That's all.

Katie: That is not all. Vienna is carrying our child. That is a very big deal.

 

Katie: I know if Vienna was really sick, you wouldn't leave her.

Henry: Yeah, right, I wouldn't. Otherwise, she would kill me.

Katie: It's just this baby changes everything.

Henry: I know.

Katie: And I know it probably feels like that's all any of us ever talk about or think about, but I don't want you to feel like you're not part of it.

Henry: Oh, trust me. I'm a big part of this pregnancy. Huge.

Katie: Yes, you are. And don't forget it. I know we joke about it all the time, but it's really true. What we're doing makes us a family.

Henry: Well, I don't do that great with families.

Katie: Henry, I'm serious.

Henry: So am I.

Katie: We need to learn how to embrace this part of the journey.

Henry: Really? Embrace it how?

Katie: By taking care of each other.

Henry: Okay, mama bear. We're in a suburb, not a commune.

Katie: I have an idea. What's your soup of the day?

Henry: Chicken noodle. Why?

Katie: I think it's about time you and I made a house call.

 

Katie: What are you doing?

Henry: Unbreast -- unhand her!

Brad: Katie!

Katie: What the hell is going on?

Vienna : Hey, darling.

 

Brad: Okay, this is not -- this is not what -- this is not what it looks like.

Katie: What is all over your hands?

Henry: Who cares what's on the hands? Why were they all over Vienna ?

Vienna: 'Cause he was helping me breathe.

Brad: I thought you were gonna be at the studio today.

Katie: Obviously.

Brad: Look, she's sick. Vienna -- she's sick.

Katie: Oh, really? So you were just warming her up with your hands?

Brad: No, it's some kind of home remedy.

Katie: No, this is a home remedy!

Brad: It was for the baby.

Katie: Oh, right. For the baby. Vienna 's carrying our baby, so you get a free pass.

Brad: Katie --

Katie: Don't let me get in the way of your magical, healing hands!

Brad

Vienna : Those two, getting all worked up over nothing. Thank goodness you're not like that.

Henry: Guess again, sweetheart.

 

Vienna: I'm not having this fight with you. I didn't do anything wrong.

Henry: You let Brad put his hands all over you!

Vienna: He was helping me breathing. I felt like I was suffocating.

Henry: You were smiling.

Vienna: I was happy to see you.

Henry: Yes, and in the state you were in, I'm sure Brad was happy, too.

Vienna: Okay, you're being rude and disrespectful.

Henry: I'm being disrespectful?

Vienna: Yes.

Henry: I'm being disrespectful?

Vienna: Yes!

Henry: Okay, what should I do, sweetheart? Next time I come home and see some guy helping you breathe, what should I do? Should I hang a sock on the door?

Vienna: Why don't you put a sock in it right now? And Brad is not just some guy, okay? I'm carrying his child!

Henry: No, you're not.

Vienna: I beg your pardon?

Henry: That's not his child in there. That's mine.

Vienna: We've been over this, Henry. Yes, you got me pregnant, but this child is Katie and Brad's, and they think it's theirs.

Henry: Okay, all right. When it's born, it's all theirs. But up until then --

Vienna: Until then, what? What? You gonna pretend it's yours?

Henry: I don't have to pretend! That's my biological baby in there!

Vienna: Okay, okay. So, I'm having your baby. What does that mean?

Henry: It means -- that Brad has no right to touch you! That's right. I said it.

Vienna: Why not?

Henry: Because you don't belong to Brad! You're mine!

Vienn : Oh, oh, I see. I'm your woman. It's your baby.

Henry: That's right.

Vienna: Okay, only you don't want to be the father of your baby, do you, Henry? You know, you can't have it both ways.

Henry: Wait just a second, vi --

[Vienna screams]

Henry: Vienna !

 

Vienna: Oh --

Henry: Vienna , sweetheart, are you okay?

Vienna: Yes, I think so.

Henry: Sit up slowly. Slowly, slowly, slowly.

Vienna: I think I slipped on something.

Henry: What? Oh, my god. Easy. Some of that stinky goop. Brad must have spilled it all over the floor. Are you all right? Are you dizzy?

Vienna: I'm fine. No, no.

Henry: Does anything hurt?

Vienna : No, just my chest and my nose.

Henry: Your nose?

Vienna: From sneezing and coughing.

Henry: Right, right, right. What about the baby?

Vienna: The baby's fine.

Henry: Are you sure?

Vienna: Yes.

Henry: Well, you never can tell. We should get you to the hospital just to be on the safe side. I don't want to take any chances with the baby.

Vienna: You don't?

Henry: No, because, like you said, Brad and Katie are counting on us, right?

Vienna: Right.

Henry: Right, okay.

[Doorbell rings] Hello. Who are you?

Vienna: Oh, that's our cameraman for the show.

Henry: What? No. No, no, no, no. We don't have time for that. I got to get Vienna to the hospital. Come on, baby.

Vienna: All right.

 

Katie: Oh, thank god. Are you okay?

Brad: What happened?

Vienna: I fell.

Henry: She slipped on some of that goop that you spilled.

Brad: Oh, Vienna , I am so sorry.

Vienna: No, don't. It's not your fault.

Henry: Actually, it sort of is.

Vienna: Henry.

Katie: Is the baby okay? Is Sven okay?

Vienna: Sven's fine.

Katie: Oh, what a relief.

Brad: You should have called us, man.

Vienna: It wasn't that serious.

Brad: Well, yeah, but think about us. We were coming home. Then we find out from the cameraman that you're in the hospital.

Henry: She said it was no big deal, all right?! Why don't you back off? She's not under house arrest!

Brad: Hey, well, no offense, Henry, but that's our baby that she's carrying around. I think we have a right to know when something's going on, when something's happened, okay?

Henry: Actually, Brad, no, you don't because --

Vienna: Henry!

Brad: Because what, Henry?

Henry: Forget it. Forget it.

Katie: What? Henry!

Brad: What the hell?

Katie: Vienna , what's wrong?

Vienna: Nothing. Nothing. Just let him go.

Brad: No, no. I can't do that.

 

Brad: Listen, what is going on with you, man?

Henry: Go away, Brad. I don't want to talk to you right now.

Brad: No, too bad, because I'm not going anywhere. I know this isn't easy. This is a weird situation for all of us.

Henry: Well, some of us are adapting better than others.

Brad: Okay, well, you're just gonna have to accept the fact that, until my baby is born that I have a right to know everything involving Vienna . Okay?

Henry: Anything else?

Brad: Yeah. Yeah, there is. I think that I've been really nice about it, but you bite my head off all the time, and I really don't think that's making it easy for any of us.

Henry: Excuse me?

Brad: You know, look, we've talked about this, and, you know, I get it. I get it. I really do. It's got to be hard dealing with the fact that I, you know, got Vienna pregnant.

Henry: Will you listen to me, you walking monkey wrench, that is my --

Brad: Your what?

Henry: That is my woman, okay? Vienna is my woman, and I don't like you talking about her like that way, okay? Do you understand that? Huh?

Brad: Yeah, well, that's what I'm trying to tell you. Yes, I do respect that. But I'm asking you to respect that your woman is carrying around my baby, okay?

Henry: Okay. We'll call next time.

Brad: All right. I mean -- are we good?

Henry: You stink.

Brad: What?

Henry: Your hand -- it stinks.

Brad: Oh.

Henry: And, yes. Yeah, we're good. We're good. We're good.

Brad: Good.

Henry: Okay.

 

Henry: Hey, I talked to the doctor. You're all checked out.

Vienna: Good. I can't wait to go home.

Henry: Brad and Katie's?

Vienna: Do you have a problem with that?

Henry: You're carrying their baby.

Vienna: So, nothing has changed?

Henry: No. Nothing's changed.

Vienna: Okay.

 

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