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Monday, February 9, 2009 Henry makes a "hopetini" at Metro in the hopes of bringing in more customers. But when he, Carly, and Craig taste it, they find out that it's not very hopeful. Later Henry is checking out the competition at the Lakeview where he runs into Brad. He's avoiding his wife because she wants to make a baby even though Dr. Bob told her she's not up to it at the moment, so they commiserate about the baby blues. Today’s episode was directed by Christopher Goutman and written by Lisa Connor.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: Happy days are here again. Carly: Oh Henry, what planet are you on? Don't you see all the red in this book? This economy is bleeding us dry. Henry: Well, speaking of dry, why don't you try the new martini I whipped up? Carly: No, Henry, you're not listening to me. I'm really serious. The money that Craig loaned to keep this place afloat, it's not going to get us much farther. If we don't turning a profit, we're going to be closed by St. Patrick's day. So, while it may seem like a fantastic time to get loaded, we need to keep a clear head here. Henry: Our customers don't. They need a reason to part with their money. And there's a lot of reason right here. Carly: A martini? Henry: Not just any martini. A hopetini. A drink full of promise for the rosy days to come, infused with ingredients guaranteed to wash the blues away. Carly: What are you talking about. Henry: Listen, if people think they're spending their money on something special, they will keep spending it. And there's a lot of special in here. Carly: Is it legal? Henry: What do you think? No, mango juice -- [Both laugh] Mango juice, grenadine and just about everything I could find in the fridge. But I'm telling you, if people down about three of these, they will see the light and we'll be back in business. Carly: I don't know. Henry: Carly, if cosmetic companies can sell hope in a jar for 100 bucks a pop, we can sell it in a martini for ten. Please, I guarantee your outlook on the world will be ever so much rosier. Craig: Isn't it a bit early in the day? Carly: Oh, get off your high horse, Mr. Montgomery. This is strictly business.
Carly: You can't get enough of me, can you? Craig: Well, I did wonder if you enjoyed our morning in the bushes as much as I did. Henry: Should I leave? Craig: And now that my son is home from school and napping safely under the watchful eye of his nanny, I thought it was a good time to come down and check into my investment. Carly: Oh, no, no, no, no. That was a loan, not an investment. And I'm going to pay you back, just as soon as I can get people to stop worrying about their 401ks and start having fun again. Henry: And I was just telling Carly how we are going to do that. Craig: Really? I'm all ears. Henry: Well, we need to give our clients the one thing they need the most. Introducing the hopetini -- a combination of alcohol, fruit and mystery juices, that is guaranteed to lift the spirits of even the most economically challenged. Go ahead, try it. Craig: Well, that'll give them hope, all right. Hope that they never have to come back in here. Henry: Oh, come on. It can't be that bad. Craig: You didn't even try it first? Did you? Carly: I was about to, when you came in here and being all judgmental. Henry: Yes, it does need some work. However, I dare you to come up with something better. Craig: I could do that with one arm tied behind my back. Henry: Oh, okay. Well, then I'll leave you to it. Carly: No, Henry, he didn't mean that. Craig: Yes, actually, I did. Henry: I'm not going to stay here to be criticized. Call me when the critics have left. Carly: Henry!
Brad: Oh, come on. Things can't be that bad. Henry: Actually, they are. Brad: Not you and Vienna? Henry: No, no. Me and Carly. Brad: What? No way, what is with that woman? First Holden, now you. Henry: No, no, no, no. It's not like -- no, no, back up. It's business. It's metro business. I'm here checking out the competition to get some ideas on how to bring in more customers. Brad: Good for you. Henry: And what is your excuse for being in a bar in the middle of the day? Brad: It's me and Katie. Henry: What? I thought things were back on track with you guys. Brad: Yeah, you know, they are. It's just, you know, until she decided that all she wants to do is have sex. Henry: And this is a problem, why, exactly? Brad: Because it's all about procreation. Henry: I thought that was the goal now, and the premise of your new TV show. Brad: It was. But we can't now. I mean, not after everything Katie's body's been through with the bone marrow transplant for Johnny. And you know, she's just not supposed to get pregnant for a while. Henry: She must be devastated. If there's one thing that she hates, it's not getting what she wants right when she wants it. And she's wanted a baby for as long as I can remember. Brad: Yeah. Yeah, she's really bummed. I mean, it doesn't mean she can never have kids. She just has to wait. Henry: Well, if you ask me, I think the whole baby-makes-three scenario is just completely overrated. I say wait forever. Brad: Yeah, you don't have a woman chasing you around every chance she gets, though. Henry: Yes, I do. Brad: Yeah, but Vienna doesn't want to have a baby. Henry: Oh, no? Then why was she this close to going to the sperm bank earlier? Brad: I thought you guys didn't want to have kids. Henry: We didn't want to have kids, until she caught the baby bug from you and Katie. Fortunately, that didn't last very long. Brad: Don't get me wrong, I want to have a kid just as much as Katie does. You know, just not if it puts her health at risk. Henry: Then put your foot down. Brad: Why do you think I'm here? Henry: You don't have to swear off sex completely. I mean, there are precautions you can take to keep the stick from turning blue. Brad: Getting Katie to use them is the problem. Henry: If she won't, then it's up to you, my man. Put your foot down.
Brad: I never thought I'd be hiding out in a bar to avoid having sex with my wife. Henry: Sex-starved spouse at 1:00. Katie: I thought I might find you here. Are you okay? Henry: Yeah, yeah, just doing a little research and development. But you can have my seat. I think I'm all done here. Good luck.
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